I came up with an I-Owe-You list as a game for something that my partner and I can play. Yes, I know it’s kinky and corny, and I somewhat regretted ever coming up with this idea simply because I’m the one who seems to be losing all the friggin’ time. However, it is an interesting game and it can be quite fun (and beneficiary to both parties, if I might add). This list was originally invented as a compromise for something that I simply refuse to do for him, such as for refusing to take my top off in front of him, I will reward him with a different kind of favor (such as allowing him to practise his new wrestling move on me. Note to readers: We do support violent acts on spouses, although in may seem so from many of my previous posts), hence the name I-Owe-You.

But lately he’s been abusing this list. That greedy manipulative bastard has got me doing things ranging from something kinky (allowing him to eat off my body – I hope the food isn’t a live one such as a live squid which is a Korean delicacy. Can you just imagine them creepy crawlies on your body? Gosh that’s gross!) to something so ridiculous (dance like a ballerina – both hands on my head, one leg in the air, the other standing on my toes). On his side, I seriously can’t remember what is it that he owe me (thanks to me being the scatterbrain that I am). I know. Just my loss. Damn.

THE BET
He proposed a new challenge yesterday. We are not to call each other up until the time he arrives in KL, which is this coming Sunday. However we are allowed only 1 SMS a day. That’s quite a challenge, seeing how much time we’ve been spending on the phone lately (we simply do not have the luxury to see each other due to geographical reasoning). I know how ridiculous and outrageous that bet is. Most people would regard it as a sign of trouble in a relationship. I mean, your partner imposed a no-communication rule, so there must be something wrong? Now let's see what this could mean:

1. He thinks I’m too clingy and therefore he needs some space (although you think, how much more space does he need? Are we not divided by the South China Sea already?)

2. He thinks that he’s being too clingy and therefore thinks that I need my space (Nah... that kind of thought is too high tech for any men).

3. This is a simply a test of my devotion to him. You know how people always say that if you love someone a lot, it's hard to stay away? Although, most of you can argue that why should two people stay away from each other in the first place. But is that not the point of this bet? Ok, now I'm going round in circles...

4. He’s testing himself to see how long he can stay away from me.

5. The telephone bills are running high. Trunk calls… what a b*tch!

6. He’s ran out of ideas to talk about (hmm that’s highly unlikely).

7. He thinks that I’ve ran out of ideas to talk about (oh if only I could keep my mouth shut for at least 30seconds!)

8. He’s up to something with the boys. A bachelor’s party? They hired a stripper, therefore wouldn’t want to be interrupted by the girlfriend.

9. Or more importantly, we both need sleep! And I mean a good 8 hours of sleep and not the 3-hours sleep we've been doing lately.

See now here’s the advantage of dating your bestfriend. I know that I shouldn’t think there’s something wrong if he wants his space. His past girlfriends has made the mistake of calling him up all the time and being paranoid if he doesn’t call. If he thinks that I need my space, he’s not that wrong to think so. I am a free spirited person and there are times when I just feel like being left alone… but not for too long. If this is a test to see how much I can take it not calling him up, he really should’ve considered my pride. Being the proud arrogant biatch that I am, I bow to no man, no matter how much it hurts being apart. There is a possibility that he thought of his phone bills. But hey, he should’ve known about that when he decided to commit to this long distance relationship. We both ran out of ideas? That’s impossible seeing how we can talk until wee hours in the morning about absolutely nothing. We’ve tried to cut down our talking time to only 10 minutes, but we both found how impossible that is (so many important issues to talk about: the creature that's hanging upside down on my bedroom ceiling, the old lady underneath my bed, his gay dog, more things to add to the ever-growing I-Owe-You list, oh and world peace... and end to world hunger... and end to war...). And I just don’t see how they can hire a stripper. I absolutely agree that we both need our sleeps considering how little of it we’ll be getting when we get together this Sunday.

At the time when he called I haven’t thought of my reward. However, I did manage to come up with this foolproof reward this morning:

If I don’t call him til Sunday, he will have to let me apply makeup on him and he has to walk around the mall for an hour with that makeup on.

And I'm not talking about just any mall. It's going to be the 1Utama Shopping Centre. Cruel? Yes, I know. But compare that to the number of things I have to do for him. Now you see my point? Yes? No?


Anyway, let’s calculate the chances of me winning this bet:

# I had a one-year plus training of not calling him up (if you read About A Boy, you’ll get the picture). Scale tips my way 1 time.

# He goes into ‘jiwang’ (english translation: lovey-dovey, mushy) mode after a couple of drinks. Plus, it is a weekend so there is a big possibility of him going out for drinks with his mates. For instance, after a couple of drinks on Valentine’s night, he was in his super 'jiwang' mode and he rushed home so that we could talk uninterruptedly on the phone (someone even tried to call him a couple of times when he was on the phone with me, which thankfully he completely ignored. Otherwise I would've called him a prick then and there). So I’m counting on it that he'll be going out on his drinking session. Scale tips my way 2 times.

# I’m competitive by nature, and especially when there’s so much at stake. I mean, would you give up the chance of putting makeup on your macho partner and make him walk around the mall looking like a drag? I WOULDN’T. So it’s do or die! Scale tips my way 2 ½ times.

# However, according to most of my friends, I’ve gotten soft and has somewhat lost my cold-hearted-iron-willed-bitchy-fuck-with-me-&-I’ll-judo-chop-your-sorry-ass personality. So there is a possibility of me buckling under the pressures of missing him terribly and lose this bet. Scale tips his way 1 ½ times.

# He’s been known to be unpredictable. Like for V-day (we both don’t believe in celebrating this day btw), he had the florist send me flowers. It’s kinda cliché, you know something you only see in the movies. Man is living in a different state, he secretly arranges for flowers to be sent to the girl at a certain time, florist shows up at the girl’s office, girl goes “what the fuck? Is it from that fucker who just wouldn’t leave me alone?”, all her friends gather around her as she reads the card from the mysterious sender, the card says something sweet and it’s actually from her man, girl cries… oh it’s just too cliché. What’s even more sweet about it is that it was the first time he’s ever sent someone flowers and he made the right choices for a beginner: 3 red roses, 4 pink roses, 1 lily, daisies and it even came with this I-Love-You blinking thing (it took me quite a while to know how to switch it off coz the blinking thing was starting to make me think how sexy Danny Devito looks in a swimming trunk). So I really can’t say what he’s going to do about this bet. Scale tips his way 4 times.


That means there’s a 50-50 chance of me winning this bet. But I’ll take my chances. Guess I’ll only get the results on Sunday eh? Ooh I can't wait!

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