Dec 8, 2005

Help! I Can't Find My Muse!

Scribbled by Perky |

I'm uninspired (is that even a word? Too lazy to Google it) to write. I'm uninspired to sleep, eat, or watch television (this is very disturbing news indeed). I'm even uninspired to be uninspired. Perhaps I'm just burnt out from work (yeah, try getting just 2 hours sleep for the past 2 weeks). Could I blame it on my period (yeah, always blame the damn vagina. But that excuse is really really old)? Or is it related to my very much deteriorated health. Perhaps I'm just being lazy (wait, let me rephrase. I am lazy). Bored? Maybe. Whatever it is, you won't be reading any deep-thought-life-changing post this week. Something's bothering me and I can't quite put my finger on it. Maybe my muse really did take off with another ho. Damn.

Men of The Week - JD Fortune
A very possible husband candidate ;)JD Fortune, the new INXS frontman, is super hot. Ouch!! There's a scene of him in Pretty Vegas where he takes off his shirt. Oh man... I could go on for another 2 more years without 'humping-&-bumping' just by watching this man go shirtless. I've watched him since the very first episode of Rockstar: INXS, and after watching him perform his own version of California Dreamin', I knew that this guy had more creative talent that set him apart from the rest. Sure, there are moments where his actions are somewhat questionable (he can be quite tactless at times). Canada seem to have a habit of exporting great talents from time to time. I have yet to meet a Canadian who is not cool.

Stuck In A Hole
No Whitewater Rafting For Me This MonthDue to recent mishaps, I am most certain that there are certain powers in the universe that has made it a mission to make my life as miserable as possible. Having fun to me is when I get to do something physical, preferably outdoors. As some of you have heard, I had been planning a whitewater rafting trip with my outdoor-adventure-loving friends. We've even included a caveing activity where we get to do flying fox inside the cave! I was so hyped up about it. All of us were. Then like a domino effect, one by one fell sick. While the others recovered pretty quickly, me on the other hand, took a longer time as my immune system ain't as strong as the rest of you folks. So for the past couple of weeks I had downed every possible medicine to cure this seemingly uncurerable flu (it's just normal flu for Christ's sake!). 5 days before the trip and I finally got well enough to join the trip. However, as I found out 2 days ago, the trip had to be postponed to January due to some miscommunication with the organiser (what miscommunication?! We want to go on the 10th December. How could that possibly be miscommunicated?!). This sucks. December is the perfect time to go whitewater rafting because of the rainy season. Damn. Anyway, to compensate the frustration of not being able to go for the very much anticipated trip, my rockclimbing buddy decided to take me for our ritual rock climbing this Sunday. Everybody knows I love rock climbing (you can read post here). As I was daydreaming about how I would conquer a 7B wall, he then informs me that he can't make it on Sunday. Now, is it just me or am is the universe trying to tell me I shouldn't give my body a long overdue workout?

Letting Go...After a year long battle of getting over a boy, I am finally able to say that I have succeeded in doing just exactly that. And we have his ex-girlfriend to thank for my struggle with this 'cancer' (though it would be nice to share with you dear readers what was said between the two us, I think it's best that those things stayed private). Though I feel like there's a huge hole in my heart, a certain incomplete feeling, I have to admit that it also feels good to finally let go. It's unhealthy to invest your love on someone who could not return your feelings, no matter how much you tell yourself it's ok if he doesn't because it's the same as settling for scraps. It's hard to be friends with someone you love, especially if that person happens to be your bestfriend (there are chances that you might turn into an overly possessive friend, where no girls are allowed to go near him, or you end up being a jealous biatch and ruin the friendship by your sudden irrational behaviour towards other female species around him, or you could turn into a really pathetic person where you are constantly hoping that he would miraculously fall madly in love with you). So it was either bye bye bestfriend, or bye bye love. I've chosen the latter. Hmm... and I thought I wouldn't be writing any life changing post this week.

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13 Your say:

Anonymous said...

yeah I know the feeling Lydd. Best friend or more.. I know the whole thing of being unable to let your heart understand while ur brain keeps on continually curse urself..

*hugs* for a sweet blog-friend. I wish you not get over him but may never have to face the same problem ever again. *hugs*again

Aidwin said...

the new inxs song seems to be quite popular here in aus now,JD was the best of the bunch anyway.

Hope u meet a nice guy soon.But dont worry too much about it :)

Anonymous said...

Alex is late so here i am commenting on ur post. seriously i wonder who IS the woman here?

right. jd fortune is hot. im gay n i think he is HOT. sux that we ain't going for the trip this time around. but like what they always say "there's always a next time". i know i know i'm not being sympatetic wit u. can u blame me for being bitchy? alex is LATE!

p/s: WHAT WERE YOU THINKING WHEN YOU WENT OUT WITH THE EX-GIRLFREN? STUPID IS IT? rule of the thumb: NEVER EVER GO OUT WITH THE EX-GIRLFREN. NEVER. they always have agendas n looks like she succeeded. anywayz, good to know u're moving on. u know we all got your back sista! *hugs*

bitchy vonne.

Roy said...

Hello there, it seems that u were not able to go anywhere i see. Well, i was wondering if ur white water rafting thingy has any open seats. i would like to pump some adrenalin into my system. emal me at


Perky said...

Thanks for the hug dude. I really needed it =) I don't think i'll ever face this problem again. I've only got 2 male bestfriends. The other is like my brother from another mother, so to speak. So don't think I will be falling for him coz it'll be like incest. Lol!! hahaha.

Yeah, creative-wise JD was the best. But vocal-wise, I thought Suzie was the best though. Her rendition of Queen's Bohemian Rhapsody still gives me goosebumps. Jordis comes in second. But after a while it gets boring to see her perform... sama jak over & over. But JD is a package: stage presence, rockstar attitude, talent & yes, he's HOT.

Bitchy Vonne:
U sure u're still gay? *wink* hahaha!! It seems that lately there's always 'alex' in your sentences. hahahaha!!!

Yeah I know i shouldn't have met her. Something was bothering me so I needed to make sure that I wasn't being blindsided (lied to)again. You know the saying there's always 2 sides of a story. Didn't wanna get sucked into their drama so I got over it.

Tell me bout it. It's like the entire universe gang up on me & made sure I never left the city. So here I am in front of my pc where as I could've been on the river having the time of my life!
Yeap, there's plenty of open seats. Check your email dude.

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...

Lydd.. From a friend who went through hell of similar kinds not once but twice in life with the same person... I can say what I have realized. You do not need to care! Just tell yourself you feel bad. And dont pretend you wont. You will. Just tell yourself... "I DO NOT CARE". Life will be good. Dont let time make it feel better ok. Anyway, have u seen Flightplan.. Just watched it. Worth watching.. U dont visit my blog anymore:p

1. Tell yourself "I do not care"
2. Do NOT be in denial :)

If you ever feel lonely or missing or something.. umm.. you can always talk to me by email or messenger or something or by friendster or blog.. even though all I will be doing is yadda yadda yadda tangential talks.. hehe....

Anonymous said...

Sometimes even though you try hard to be strong you really cant be.

Try hard not to cry but it still it rains inside.

Try hard not to think but it still comes in to your mind..

It is hard to forget things if its always there to show up.

Hard to pretend that you dont see but still it blocks your mind.

Even though you close your eyes does it also close your mind?

Escaping the real world would be the craziest thing you can think
for you can never do.

But do remember we are there for u
Cause U been there for us too

*hugs* to a wonderful person

Alex said...

Hey you hot stuff you...

1. I think that fortune guy was the best among the lot to fill in MH's shoes. I dont mean it in a replace kinda way. I meant like to continue on with the inxs legacy and all tat jazz. You know what I mean.

2. I'm bummed about the trip man. I mean seriously man. I'm going to miss it girl. Unless if you wana go to aussie and do the whitewater thingy there ;) There's lots of things you can do there and who better to show you around other than yours truly ;)

3. So you're finally over him huh? It's his lost baby. Some man dont know a great thing even though its just right in front of him. But some man knows when a great thing is there but its out of his league.

p/s: word of advice to SHAGGY:
Don't tell perky what to do. If you wana give advice, give something positive. What ARE you thinking telling her to not care & dont let time heal her & other shit fucks like tat? You know what makes her great is that she cares for others & always looks out for ppl. The world could do with more unselfish ppl like her. So dont go rubbing negative shit on her man.

*this is really some great shit i'm smoking here!! rarr rarrr rarrr!!*

Her very overly protective bro from anotha motha.

Anonymous said...

no offense Alex.. but caring for whoever hurt her wont make her feel better ever...ok. And it is not unselfish ok. Time never heals. You have to confort your ownself if you have to move on and survive.. that is just my point of views... ok :P

Alex said...

Of course i'm offended! You're trying to spread negative thoughts on her. So by saying 'it is not unselfish', do you actually mean that it's ok to be selfish? You're just not getting it, do you? Her ability to care for even those who hurt her (although he didn't mean to hurt her) just says that she's got a really really huge heart. I think that's the difference between you and her. You must've cared for another person who had hurt you but yet you felt like crap for caring. As for her, caring for others makes her happy. Time heals. I believed it happened for her cause compared to how she was earlier this year, she has vastly improved. So that's proof that time DOES heal. As for comforting your ownself, well that is true in some ways. But a burden gets lighter if there are other ppl to help you carry it. And trust me, she's got a GREAT support system here.

Do not try to turn her problems into YOUR agenda. She's not you.

*still the overly protective bro from anotha motha*

Perky said...

Hey what's going on here? Alex are you high or something dude? You've been picking fights with lots of ppl this week eh?

Shaggy don't take any offense with what Alex said. He's been smoking way too much weed this weekend. Lol! I've been real busy with work lately, so didn't have the chance to visit your blog, or anyone else's. Xmas just around the corner... lots of shopping to do... =)

Anyways, everyone's got their views, advices, etc etc. Freedom of speech afterall. That said, it's also the listener's freedom whether to listen or not ;) Hehe. In my case, I hardly ever listen anyway :P
p/s: Alex, stay off the weed dude. Seriously.

Wildfire Princess said...

Hey Lydd,
You finally letting go of him may hurt a lot but ease your pain by knowing that it is his loss and not yours. Trust me, I know how it feels like. Just something for you to know :

"If you love someone and it comes back to you, it is yours but if it doesn't, it was never meant to be"

All the best,