Sep 8, 2005

The Fear Factor

Scribbled by Perky |

Fear is part of being human. Everyone has something that they're terribly afraid of. I wish I could say "Nah... I fear nothing". But we all know that's one big chunk of lie. Fear is the absence of bravery. You can't call someone brave if he has no fear to confront. It's like going to war, minus your enemy. Therefore, you can't exactly call it war. Right... I'm going round in circles. But I'm pretty sure you get the picture. This post is not about me telling the world how brave I am (yeah I admit I can be chicken shit sometimes...). This post is about me admitting to my fears and what I do to conquer them (or somewhat manage to deal with them).

Fear of Heights:
I have no idea how I got this fear. Maybe it's because I'm short and I'm so used to being so close to the ground. Who knows? But heights really spook me out. I can't even climb a ladder to change my light bulbs (which is also why a part of my living room remains dark til this very day).

How I Conquered It:
Rock Climbing: Second Most Fun Sport!I took up rock climbing and I love this sport a lot. It challenges my mind and body to the max. Because I have short limbs, I can't exactly stretch and reach the next point. I usually have to take what I call the "leap of faith". Thank God I'm light and flexible. If I was any heavier, I don't think my fingers and arm can support my weight. Rock climbing is the most fun sport I've ever taken. Well second most fun (nothing pumps my adrenaline more than Taekwondo). It challenges my mind - which route should I take, is this wall too difficult for me, will my muscles fail me before I reach the top? At the same time, rock climbing is relaxing for the mind coz you're all alone up there, doing your own stuff.

The easy part is going up. But coming down, well that's a different story. My rock climbing buddy, Irfan, took me to my first rock climbing experience. He was my belayer. I managed to get to the top without breaking a sweat. So once I got to the top, I shouted at him,"So what do I do now?" He then tells me to let go. Let go? Are you serious? Slightly pissed at what I had to do to, I turned to look at Irfan. Big mistake. He looked so small. The floor looked really really far away. Panic came. Breathe. Just breathe. Too late. I was practically in tears. "I can't let go, Irfan. I'll die if I do". Yes, I can be quite a drama queen. "Don't worry. Just trust me. I won't let you fall". I stayed up there for a good 10 minutes. You see, Irfan wanted to go climbing himself and wanted to leave me hanging up there. So I had no choice but to let go. I closed my eyes the whole way. And I thought "Hmm... the journey back to earth ain't that bad". By the time my tiny feet touched the floor, I was no longer crying. As a matter of fact, I couldn't wait to get back up there. But sad to say, my fear of heights has not been fully conquered. Must be something to do with wearing a safety harnest. Bryan, my dear partner-in-crime (what would I do without him and his bound-get-into-trouble ideas?), is thinking about going skydiving sometime in the future, and I'm actually entertaining the idea of going with him.

Fear of Flying:
Shit Scared of FlyingDespite my love for travelling, I absolutely despise it if I have to fly to my dream destination. News about plane crashes and hijacking certainly doesn't help to ease my paranoia. I am just one of those people you do not want to sit next to in a plane. I'd grab your hand so hard I could crush it. Wait, that's not all. When I'm in the sky, I suddenly become a God fanatic (I think this has something to do with the fact that we humans associate heaven as some kingdom in the sky and that God can hear us much better up there). Every time the plane shakes I would scream out names from Jesus to Buddha, recite all the prayers that I know (I think I only know 2 by heart. Does that make me a bad person?), and promise to be a better person if I live through this turmoil. I am NOT fun when I'm in the plane.

How I Conquered It:
Fly less. Erm, no. Sleeping pills is good. It knocks you out completely, but Kuching is less than 2 hrs flight away from Kuala Lumpur. So sleeping pills is not an option. Unless if you've arranged with the stewardess to wheel you out of the plane, that is. Plus, sleeping pills are prescription drugs. Ok, that's a lame excuse for someone who can get weed relatively easy. I'm doing a bad job at trying to sound sophisticated with this whole sleeping pill excuse. Fine, I'll tell you how I manage the whole flying thing. Reading. Yeap, simple reading. Reading is so boring. I tend to get drowsy by the second paragraph (which probably explains why it takes me so long to finish reading a book, or anything for that matter). Now do you understand why I wanted to go with the sleeping pill excuse?

Fear of Non Cute Cuddly Beings
GROSS!!!With the exception of my oh-so-cute-&-adorable iguana, non cute cuddly beings are classified as: roaches, frogs, grasshoppers, snakes, worms, bugs, anything that is not a part of the cat/dog family, anything that does not have fur (but that doesn't mean I like hairy men, k). I remember this one really embarassing incident back in my pre-uni days. We had to disect a frog for bio class. I have no problems with disecting anything, provided that that thing is dead. This frog was still very much alive and it was required for us to put this frog to sleep (via cloroform, though chopping its head would be much faster and easier. Messy, yes. But faster.) But we had to catch the damn frog first in order to put it in the cloroform-filled tank. In this bio class was a guy called Marcellino whom I had a crush on. So there was a need for me to look cool and all that. This dude, being the prankster that he is, decided that it was better to let the frogs go free. And when he did that, guess who was the first one to jump on the table? *cheng cheng cheng cheng cheng* 100 points to you! Who else other than yours truly.

How I Conquered It:
RUN. Run as fast as I can. JUMP. Jump on anything I can. SCREAM. Scream to scare them buggers away (I don't think that really works... are they deaf? Does anyone know?). I try to not kill these creatures. I really don't want their families to come after me while I'm sleeping, you know.

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10 Your say:

Anonymous said...

I have a fear of losing out in life :P
Swagato

PS: Did u receive my email?

queue said...

hey butt-dy. U have a fear of anal probing? if not, call me hun....

Perky said...

Swagato:
Don't worry bout losing out in life. Start living your dreams, you know, do the things you've always wanted to do. In my case, i live too damn much i probably might end up killing myself doing something stupid.

p/s: Yeah i received your email.

Queue:
I didn't wanna write about the fear of anal probing coz i've yet to conquer it! lol!!! 'fuck my butt' ;)

Jay said...

I used to think I had a fear of heights, but now I realize, I have a fear of falling from heights.

A Year said...

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Perky said...

jay, i think that makes more sense. it's not the height that's scary. it's the falling down bit that's scary. yeah, definitely makes more sense.

A true Virgo said...

I also have a fear from falling from height.. hehe.. I have fear of not being able to walk someday :p weird hehe..
I have a fear of small roaches.. ewww.. Those are just so ugly and yucky. I have a fear of being mistreated in life. I have a fear of losing my temper since I have a very bad temper at times. I have a fear of staying poor forever. I have a fear of losing my loved ones. I have a fear of getting some real bad disease. I have a fear of saying wrong things at wrong times.

PS: But, Perky.. hehehe.. "the fear of anal probing " hahahaha.....lolz

apples said...

I've only tried rock climbing once but I absolutely loved it. As a kid I was always climbing up trees, still love sitting in the cherry tree at home during summer.

Flying is fun. Or the taking off, the bouncing up and down in the air, and the landing is fun, the 'sitting still reading' part is boring. Not as much the reading as the sitting still...

Non cute cuddly beings. Frogs are cute. We use to count them when out walking in the mountains. Once one went potty on my sis and I didn't want to hold her hand. As for bugs I just do my best not to touch them, I really don't mind them being around.

Except milipedes and centipedes. They're creatures of the devil.

Perky said...

A true virgo:
Wow.. that's a lot of fear. But u know, living is also one way of conquering fear. Like i'm real scared to cross the road. So i always use the overhead bridge even if it means i have to walk a lil bit further & climb them damn stairs.

Apples:
What is wrong with you woman??!!!! I've read it somewhere that some people do hallucinate when flying, giving them the impression that flying is fun. It's because of the high altitude & lack of oxygen. Oh Gawd... FROGS ARE CUTE????!!!! Seriously, WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU? Hehehe.. .just kidding babes ;)

apples said...

I just don't worry so much :)