It's 4am and after much tossing and turning I have concluded that my sleep pattern is pretty much fucked. On top of that I pretty much lost track of day as it is now Saturday and I have completely neglected my blog. Maintaining a blog, even if it's only once a week, can be quite taxing for me. I mean, don't get me wrong. I love to write (or more like rant about sweet nothings). It's the coming up with things to write that can be quite tiresome. My mind's all over the place this week. Therefore I'm just gonna blog about whatever comes to mind. (Note: I have warned you that my mind IS all over the place).

Anal Probing
Thanks to Queue and One Year, the issue of anal probing has been lingering in my head for quite some time. I've never been comfortable with this anal sex thing. I'm so uncomfortable with this issue that I wouldn't even consider trying it. And this is coming from someone who's pretty adventurous when it comes to sex (I think I'm pretty adventurous. You know, the usual quickie in a public toilet, going down on him while he's driving, giving him a 'massage' between his legs using my foot while we're out for dinner, etc etc etc...) I just don't see how a woman can reach orgasm by having her butt fucked when there's no 'sensivity' or 'turn me on' nerve in there (you know, a woman's clit is 3 times more sensitive than a man's penis...). Perhaps the idea that shit comes out from there really grosses me out. I have been known to be quite a clean freak (read: germaphobe). Bottom line, anal sex is a no-no for me. And this is probably one of the reasons why I liked my Cowboy lover a lot because he & I were on the same page when it comes to 'anal probing'.

Make Love, Not War
Still on the sex issue. Just the other day I was watching this porn flick called Rocco something. Can't remember the full title (who does anyway if it's not something like Amar-Get-In-On) but it was a French porn. It looked somewhat promising until the part when the guy 'roughs' the girl up. Now that's just messed up, dude. I really dislike violence. Yeah I know that I'm pretty much capable of throwing a nasty right hook and my bitch fits tend to get the better of me. I remember this incident with one of my partners. He flipped me over as he wanted to go doggy. All of a sudden he smacks my ass. WTF? Ok, I'll try to go with it this time. Then he smacks me again for a couple more times. Clearly he wasn't going to stop smacking me til my ass bleeds and I wasn't enjoying it at all. And then a sudden surge of rage swept into my body. Like I was possessed by an ancient warrior (yeah, I tend to exaggerate a bit... but you already know that). I turned and pushed his chest with my leg. He was now lying on his back, probably thinking some kinky thoughts (bloody bastard...). I was in this crazy bitch fit and with a quick motion, I pressed my elbow onto his neck and said something like,"You smack me one more time, I swear I will remodel your face that your mother will have to identify you from your dental records... that is if you get to keep them, motherf*cker". He must've gotten the point as I've never seen a man's 'equipment' shrink that fast. Or maybe it was from the chocking and he couldn't really breathe and therefore cutting oxygen supply to that part of the body. I don't know. I couldn't really tell...

Fix You
I'm currently really into Coldplay's new single 'Fix You'. Of all the 1000+ songs on my iPod, this is the only one I listen to right now. It's a beautiful song, both musically & lyrically. It's a song about hope and about being there for someone. I could be wrong but that's how I interpret the song. High up above or down below. When you too in love to let it go. If you never try you'll never know. Just what you're worth. Lights will guide you home. And ignite your bones. And I will try to fix you

My Object of Affection
Speaking of Coldplay, I just have to say this: I love Chris Martin. Now I don't throw that 'L' word around. This guy, from the day Coldplay became famous from that Yellow song, has never failed to amaze me. How much so? I would rank him among the likes of Freddie Mercury (Queen) and Steve Tyler (Aerosmith). I once had a boyfriend who looked like Chris. He can't sing a tune to save his life but boy, he can really rock on the guitar. But that's beside the point. Back to Chris Martin. Chris has a strong and powrful falsetto and his voice has so much depth in it. And when he sings in his normal range, that low tone, it could almost bring me to tears. It's that beautiful. And man, this guy can perform live absolutely fucking well. For all I care, he can sing me the theme to Barney the Purple fucking Dinosaur and would still be able to captivate me.

Sing Along... or Not!
Since I'm on the subject of music, I have recently realized that I can't harmonize to Sheryl Crow's music. That bumms me out completely as I am a huge fan of Sheryl Crow. Anyone can sing the lead melody and I've never been a fan of anything easy. Which is probably why I like to harmonize and improvise the tune. It gives me great pleasure when I come up with a whole new set of tune that will compliment the melody. It gives me even more pleasure when I can come up with harmonies of different keys. Harmonizing comes pretty naturally to me. But somehow with Sheryl, I just can't get my act together. I can't name a song that I have successfully sing its harmony. I'd get a few notes right and then I get confuse with her lead melody. There are many times when I sing completely off key! This puzzles me. Either it's Sheryl's music that's throwing me off my mojo or I am (foced to admit) actually tone deaf.

Hunger Strikes
I seriously think that my tummy is inhabited by either worms or aliens. I am always hungry. Always. On normal days I would consume 5 big meals with snacks in between. I am of petite structure and therefore I do not require that much energy. But for some crazy reason my body burns food as fast as it takes Schumacher (I probably should say Kimi Raikkonen instead since he is the fastest driver this season) to complete a lap. Don't mean to be a biatch about this and I know I should be grateful for having such high metabolisme. But I just wanna be able to stay full for at least 2 hours. It'd be great to enjoy a couple of hours without having food on my mind. My stomach even sings (Not in tune though. More like a grumble or a roar or some really funny very low note)! Can you believe that?! It sings by the third hour if I don't feed it. I remember that one time I went back with a friend to his kampung (english trans: village). In the kampung we don't get supermarkets. In the kampung they grow or kill their own food. When someone brings back a kill or a sack of rice, it is suppose to last them a few days at least. To cut the story short, by the third day of my stay in the kampung, one of the indai (english trans: elderly woman) whispered to my friend,"When is she leaving? We're kinda low on food." Maybe my friend was just fucking with me when he told me that. Damn I'm hungry now...

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