Nov 12, 2007

Inspector Perky and the Not-So-Faithful McChef

Scribbled by Perky |

Today I get to play inspector and I'm going to share with you alls my findings.

I checked my email this morning and after scrutinizing all 528 fanmails, I saw one email that popped out amongst the rest. It was a notification email from my blog saying that I have received a new comment. So I pun pergi tengok lah... coz I so excited to receive comments you know!

Exhibit A: The Anonymous Comment

After reading "he's not as faithful as you think he is", I wasn't too excited anymore. I mean, wouldn't you be upset too if someone said that your partner isn't as faithful as you think he is. But before I got into panic mode, I pun fikir lah (yes, I DO have a brain and a very good one too you know. It's rarely used but yeah, it's there ;) ).

If McChef was indeed cheating on me, how is he doing it? I've got his hour-by-hour schedule on a daily basis. We check in on each other almost every other hour. And I think the sistahs can vouch for me that McChef is always calling me up and even throws a bitch fit when I'm not home by certain hour. Even Jujubes can vouch that we're on the phone til wee hours in the morning EVERY SINGLE NIGHT. So where does he find the time to cheat?

(He's on a tight leash, you know)

As you can see, there's not much I can tell from this comment. So I decided to put myself in the commentor's shoes, so to speak lah! If I was going to tell someone that their partner was indeed cheating on them, I would BE descriptive about it, NOT encryptic. I don't know, perhaps I would say something along these lines:

"Go to Pussy Galore Pub tonight at 3.30am. Not only will u find ur hubby there, but u will also find ur hubby's pic on the Hall-of-Frequent-Cheaters (he's #2 on the list btw), which is located on the wall next to the cage dancer (p/s: the cage dancer is me)."

(sexy cage dancer... grrrr!)

Or perhaps I'd send evidence like pics / love letters / naughty sms-es / skanky underwears / used condoms to the poor unsuspecting wife.

(letters with lipstick stains make good evidence, don'tcha think?)

(or if someone else sends u his one-of-a-kind leopard skanky panties, then u should be worried)

THEREFORE, Perky's nose smells a rat. A big fat ass of a rat. (Or more like a big FLAT ASS of a rat)

Thanks to technology and I can find out who the commentor is. You see those digits on the right side of my blog? They don't just display the number of visitors of this blog, they also keep track of who they are, where they came from, how long they're here, which post they're reading. Damn canggih stuff I tell you! =)

Exhibit B: The date & time of the anonymous comment

SO i pun logged into my statcounter account to compare the timeline.

Exhibit C: My statcounter findings

(visitors' log)

(found the culprit!!)

Exhibit D: The map of my visitors, Anonymous Commentor included

(oh don't you just love technology!!)

Check out the timeline, the entry page and exit page that was visited by Anonymous. Notice that the page visited is about my relationship with McChef? How freaky is that?!?

Sorry to say, but I don't have any conclusions about my findings. What I have are only theories:
A) The Anonymous Commentor is indeed trying to do me a favor by telling me that McChef is indeed unfaithful, OR
B) The Anonymous Commentor is just some random dude posting random comments, thinking it'll be funny to screw with my mind like that, OR
C) The Anonymous Commentor is some BITTER EX who's got nothing else to do other than to create drama between two happily married people.

I don't know about you but exactly how does the mind of a psychotic person work?


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10 Your say:

Mlle Linie said...

haih.. another sicko is just 'pulling your leg'. if that person is sincere and knows something, he/she would have told what exactly that phrase meant.

i've got a mentally retarded 'ex-friend' (pun intended), who was pissed at me and decided to 'mengadu domba' to my bf. she said i was telling the whole world about my 'hal rumah tangga' til everyone is sick of it. my boyfriend, of course confronted me, and i was clueless. so i confronted that person and the reply i got was:

"oh i just said that cause i was soooo mad".

she made that up and sort of 'blackmailed' me for nothing.

so there, there are sickos, wackos who'r so twisted in this world, they do leave u bewildered for a bit. so, i guess it's kinda normal to get these 'minor disturbances' once in a while.

but i'd at least ask my bf str8 should i get any. i don't see any problems sharing your insecurities with your bf which is healthy so long as not too much.

kalau tak jealous/risau takde nya cinta, betul tak?

but again, looking at the IP add, it's prolly just another harmless annoying fly.

Anonymous said...

from the way you tulis this post i believe you already know who anonymous commentor is.

i actually found it entertaining that you went through all that to prove that your guess was right (is it right?) and what better way to say "haha! i caught you!!" other than posting up your 'exhibits' for everyone to see. if i were anonymous commentor i would be very ashamed of myself krn still like berlagak like budak sekolah yang giler berdrama Korea gitu!

i think anonymous commentor should apologise lah. so memalukan you know.


Perky said...

Mlle Linie:
In my case, McChef and I tell each other every single thing. We dont keep secrets from each other. Nothing is taboo to us, even if it means digging up the unpleasant past. And i believe that that is what makes the relationship as strong as it is bcoz we're both so secure with each other. This kind of openness may not work for everyone else but it works for us.

As for the fly, how I wish I could just swat the damn fly away! hahaha!

Haha! Oh pls, if that person thinks they can hide behind anonymosity when they posted such comment, what makes you think they'll even own up to it?

A coward who got caught with their hand in the cookie jar would rather make excuses / shift blame / make up more lies than to admit the truth. Coz by doing so it's like admitting that they have a rotten heart, dontcha think?

lyana said...

time to bring out huge ass mosquito nets lah and swat the fly!


Perky said...

Guna spray ridsect should be more than enough lah for this fly! hahahahaha!!!!

Perky said...

p/s: Oh ya, 4got to update you. The IP address of the commentor was indeed who McChef and I suspected it was.
Anonymous Commentor msged him that she was on my page, so McChef told me to check the IP add. Yeap, same one. Case solved!

Mlle Linie said...

oh so u finally figured out the fly eh? apalagi.. swat it real hard for giving such a stupid comment. piak piak piak! spare no mercy. tehehe!

::airswift:: said...

i am sincerely amazed.
how you do that with statcounter?

savante said...

Ooh from your pics I thought it was someone in the Middle East! You clever clever IT Nancy Drew!

Bibik Nyonya said...

eee....tak sangka poporoot tatau trace commmentors one. Girl...u so need a stalker! Ha ha ha! As for YOU....hish!! Buat suspen jer mak tau! But anyway, its quite unlikely to happen lah right? You name me a bitch brave enough to snag your hubby....pernah kena cakar ngan pondan nails tak?