Sep 20, 2007

The Bridget Jones in My Head

Scribbled by Perky |

"I don't know why he's with her... she's just so.. ugly... and urgh... fat." Sounds familiar? Or how about this one: "I can't believe he left me for that walking lollipop". As a woman going through heartache, it's so easy to say nasty things like that. I, too, was one of those women who'd say those hurtful things when I was nursing my broken heart. I'd say things like "She's fat and cross-eyed" just to convince myself that he'd be miserable with her and therefore missing out on better things with me. It has never occurred to me that perhaps one day I could be on the receiving end of such nasty remark.

Last Monday when I was back home, McChef and I went jalan-jalan as it was my last day there. We decided to go to the Tun Jugah mall, where btw one of his ex was working as a jewellery assistant. I'm actually okay with meeting his exes (my kitty claws are retracted for as long as they don't try to be 'funny'). I don't get intimidated easily, so to speak lah! But this particular ex, just by the mention of her name can evoke emotions that I'm not very proud of... insecurities, paranoia, JEALOUSY, just to name a few.

This ex, *Bulat (a referrence to her erm... nice, well-endowed posterior) is of mix-parentage. And damn, has she got the best of both worlds. Blessed with sharp features and beautiful skin color, she could've easily redefine the meaning of 'exotic beauty'. A real head turner, that's what she is. And on top of what lies on the outside, she's beautiful on the inside too. At least, from what I heard from McChef. *Bulat is the ONLY ex he speaks of ever so fondly. It's like as if she doesn't have a bad bone cell in her.

How would you feel if your partner's ex has a bum like Eva?

So when McChef suggested we go buy new hairclips for me, I knew that she and I would officially meet. And almost immediately I felt this sickening twist at the bottom of my stomach. Not to mention, I felt like I was this frumpy old lady - no makeup, t-shirt and bermuda shorts and to top it all off, I was wearing McChef's slippers!! (who btw has much bigger feet than me!).

"Oh why... WHYYY can't I wear something more sexy today... something more girlfriend-like? Now I look like Ronald McDonald on a good day nonetheless!"

So shoot me for feeling like as if I'm about to get hit by a meteorite.

Perky: Babe, I don't know if I'm up to this.... I feel so out of place... some more I look so ordinary... no make up on... and look at what I'm wearing. I look so.. so... AUNTIE!!

And McChef's reply to that really put a smile on face (if not did wonders for my self-confidence):
So?? It should be her who should feel bad. "If only I had spent less time putting on make-up and getting all dressed-up, maybe McChef wouldn't have left me". Besides I don't like you under all that make-up and wearing so sexily. Other guys will look at you and I don't like that coz you're all mine.

Yeah I know... AwwwWwwwWww. Anyways, our meeting went pretty well, I must say. She's actually a cool girl (just like how McChef described her). Did I get jealous, you ask? Oh hell yeah - I am woman afterall. But I figured, for as long as she keeps her hands off my man, she and I will get along just fine.

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15 Your say:

Farahz said...

that's normal babe to feel such a thing.

it means that you love him damn much.


Perky said...

Hehe.. right on.

But u know, it'd be nice 2 get all dolled-up once in a while 4 him (haha! like as if he'd let me out of the house)... perhaps its my way of retaining my youth or watever's left of it. hehee...


lyana said...


well...twelve year old, yeah...not auntie!


Alex said...

Can I meet this Bulat lady? I'd like to see 4 myself this girl whose more exotic looking than u! ;)

p/s lyana: Perks does kinda look like a 12 yr old ey... but a very well-endowed 12 yr old ;)

Perky said...

Ooohh am I a pretty twelve year old? ;) hahaha!

My man!!! U gotta stop landing in hospitals dude!

Go look lah at Bulat. Good luck in talking to her though coz she dont speak much english (my claws aint out, I swear!! it's true, she don't speak much english ;))

savante said...

Meeting the ex is always nightmarish. Sure you guys didn't claw each other's eyes out first before shaking hands?

Mlle Linie said...

funny that despite her coolness, sexiness whatever, it didn't work out for them..

i suppose you've got more than what beauty itself can offer.. maybe she's too nice, or too perfect.. men don't like women who's too nice and who don't really need them.. at least, that's what my bf said..

best example like nicole kidman and tom cruise, nicole's such a supermom, supermodel, superactress, but cruise still left..

i don't see any point you competing with her in terms of make up, dresses etc.. if your man needed a bimbo he'd prolly looked for one..

so hail perky for making a man realise that beauty ain't everything.. *respect*! =)

Perky said...

No lah. Meeting THE ex is nightmarish... but the rest I biasa only - like meeting my own frens like that lah.

The claws came out in the form of a diamond engagement ring flashed in front of her face. hehehe. Devious i know ;)

I luv your comment so much coz it has put a huge smile on my face =)) thanks!! =)) Hopefully more men will realise the same too huh..

::airswift:: said...

even if u wear huge t shirt
and tie your hair a "coconut tree" on your head,

you will still look adorable.

you are orrrredi exotic lah.

::airswift:: said...

and i like it when you wiggle your feet while you are sitting on a chair, and tilting your head left and right.

am i turning straight?

*clasping my mouth with my hands

Perky said...

*blush blush* so sweeett!!!

Hmm... perhaps u r turning straight! *clasping mouth with hands* LOL!!!

Anonymous said...

he's not as faithful as you think he is.

Mlle Linie said...

and btw, i wanted to add that despite all the confidence you have inside, your bf understands that being friends with exes is never pleasant to the current gf. out of respect for your feelings, i hope he's really keeping his distance and his mouth shut about his past, especially on his 'fondness' for bulat.

i'd prolly blow my top if my bf did that. :D. oh and i'd prolly rub it in by saying how i was fond of my other exes too. see how he takes it.

some things are not meant to be discussed IMHO. it just brings more bad than good.

Perky said...

Mlle Linie:
He doesn't keep in touch with her. It was only that one time when we were out shopping. He's free to talk about her. I'd like to know what goes on his head than him keeping secrets from me. He's like that with me too.

And that's the difference between a bf and a husband =)

::airswift:: said...

husband shares things like that.
there's nothing wrong with it if both sides can just take it as something to get to know each other better.

choosing a person wholly is choosing the package of present, future and past.