I decided to write how I felt about my partner so that regardless of what the future may hold for us, I will always have this post to remind me of how I felt at this point in my life.

I've often wondered what people meant when they said that we have chemistry. I saw it as me simply being comfortable with a friend, so comfortable that I need not be anyone else but myself. The chemistry and comfort must've been really great 'cause people used to come up to me and asked if we were seeing each other, when in fact we were seeing other people back then.

I've always liked the dynamic of our relationship even before we were a couple. You know when to back off whenever I need my space. I can be goofy with you without feeling ridiculous or inappropriate. And yet I can be serious with you without making you (and me, included) feel ‘rimas’. It’s great to be myself, instead of pretending to be the person my (previous) partners wanted me to be just so that I can fit in their lifestyle.

We bounce great ideas off each other. It's like we feed off each other's energy. Did you know that your eyes light up whenever you further develop our ridiculous ideas into something that could materialize? I can’t wait to see if our getaway trip is going to happen or not. Or how you avoid my suspicious eyes when you’re up to no good? And you also have a certain gaze which you specially reserve for me whenever you're in your lovey dovey mood, and I'm so glad that I get to see that very often.

I like seeing the world through your eyes. You've opened up my mind and perception of things. People usually say "there's always two sides of a story" but in your case, the possibilities are endless. Just when I thought that I've got all the angles covered, you always come up with questions that I can't seem to find the answers to. I like that about you. You stimulate and challenge my mind. I don't need to read books to gain knowledge. I have you for that.

You're a male version of me, as I am the female version of you. Never have I met anyone who's so like me and yet the things that make us different from each other really compliment us as a couple. I’m terrified of flying but you love to fly. I don’t think our relationship would’ve worked out as well as it is now if we both had fear of flying. Or the fact that you can cook but I can’t. Although it would be nice if we both can cook, but I think that would lead to some serious ego fight in the kitchen. Haha. Oh well, you can do the cooking and I'll do the dishes. How about that babe? (We all know how obsessed I am with cleaning... lol!)

I hate having to cramp all our time together into 3 days or 30 hours. Everything just feels so rushed; so many things to do, yet so little time to achieve them all. But I’d gladly lose my sleep if it means that I get to see you every fortnight (although we both know that I’m going to bitch about it all night and day). But I suppose that’s what makes our relationship special because every moment is precious.

I like that you let me hold you whenever I want, for as long as I want. Even I'm amazed at how we just can't seem to keep our hands off each other. I like that we kiss at every opportunity we can get; be it in the elevator, or at the escalator, or whenever we think no one's looking. It's so silly when I think of why should we care if there's anyone looking. I wanna kiss you whenever I want, dammit. Like I've said before, "if someone's going to be watching, we might as well give them a good show". Haha. I also like how every date feels like the first date, which kinda reminds me of that movie "50 First Dates". How appropriate too since I'm almost as forgetful as Drew Barrymore's character. I like seeing me the way that is reflected in your eyes. I often forget to remind myself that I’m special. You’re my Post-It notes, constantly reminding and making me feel special. Never has it been more fun learning about myself than discovering myself through your eyes.

I like that you put the emotional side of our relationship above all else. Not that I’m saying we should ignore the physical part... because that part’s really good too. Each time we kiss I get butterflies in my stomach. Your kiss is gentle, yet passionate... Your kiss is very inviting, it lures me deeper into your soul... something I can never get enough of. We’ve kissed until both our lips become numb, and yet we just can’t seem to stop. I just wanted you to know that when I kiss you, I’m kissing you with my whole heart.

You could’ve easily gotten anyone else, someone who's not beneath you (I bet Jessica Alba would give you a call if she had your number, and I'm pretty sure Jennifer Love Hewitt is standing in line to get your number), but instead you chose me; the one with the Aladdin toes, with thighs as big as yours but an ass as flat as pancake, with donkey teeth and Mariah Carey boobs. I don’t know how you could see pass all that and love the soul that inhibits this God-forsaken body. You seem to love every bump, lump and hump on this body. I know there are days when I myself can’t even see pass my own physical defects.

I like how we are still able to maintain our own separate identities. You are still you, and I am still me. We still have our own set of friends. My freedom and independence are really important to me since I've always been a free spirited person.

We spend most of the time apart, and yet we always seem to think the exact same thoughts at the exact same time (although I like to believe that I came up with the ideas first, and you just happen to ‘hear’ my thoughts because I’m thinking too loud).

You take me by surprise all the time, whether it be your willingness to put up with this spoilt brat you call your girlfriend (watching a movie that you’ve already watched) or that you’d go through great lengths to make her happy (such as getting up from a much needed sleep, buying groceries and cooking her favorite dish within an hour because she suddenly had the urge to go home to eat lunch with you, or simply flying just to see her even though it’s only for 30 hours).

I like the way you encourage me to try new things or do something that is really out of my comfort zone (such as the very comedic and blink-and-you'll-miss-it striptease). You don’t force me to try, but instead you ‘plant’ the ideas in my head and make it as something fun to try. Don’t misunderstand her teasing as a sign of holding back. Teasing is her way of showing affection. And even referring herself as a third person is her way of humoring you. And she likes it that we always find new ways to express our feelings for each other.

Boy: Love me?
Girl: Nah... I love Than Chi Kwang.
Boy: Who's that?
Girl: My pimp daddy.
Boy: That lucky bastard.

I know you’ve said that you’re an impatient man. But babe, all that this girl asks of you is to give her some time. I know for sure that she’ll come around. It’s just her nature to do things at her pace (and you know how s... l... o... w... she can be some times.. ok perhaps most times). But her people wants your people to know that your people could be in for something really great if they stick around long enough.

I strongly believe that every path I took, every joy and heartache I went through, has brought me to you. All those experiences has taught me how to appreciate having someone as special as you in my life. Never will I take you for granted.

As for the “why does it feel like we’ve been together forever when we’ve only just hooked up” question that has been bothering us, I still don’t have the answer to that. I’d like to say it was meant to be. But I’m glad we took all those years to build a good solid friendship before we moved on to the next level. Learning from past experiences, we both needed to really be sure of what kind of person we want for a partner. I don’t know about you, but you sure filled up the position really well. It’s just too good to be true. Which brings me to my next point: because it’s too good to be true, there are times when I may need to take a step back and breathe. And that probably explains the sudden blur expression on my face especially when I pick you up from the airport. I just need to take a moment to believe that all this is really happening.

I’ve truly met my match in every single way. Someone who pushes me to be better, someone who gets what I’m all about, someone who challenges me intellectually, and someone who guides me and yet is not afraid to let me take the lead once in a while. I love it that you can take charge without being a chauvinistic pig like most men do.

Can you now understand, babe, why it’s hard for me to believe that you love me more than I love you. It’s just not possible for you to top my feelings for you. I love you, Bryan Than, so much... too much that I don't think I have anything left in my heart for any other men. I look forward to having more tummy rubs, more homecooked meals and more showers with you, Papa Pots.

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