Mar 1, 2009

For the Moms-To-Be Out There

Scribbled by Perky |

When a girl friend of mine got pregnant, I was so thrilled that I wanted to learn all I could about pregnancy. We’ve known each other since we were teenagers and we’ve always been there for each other. So it was only natural for me to want to be there for her all the way during her pregnancy. Perhaps I was taking the role of being an aunt a bit too seriously (being over excited is such an understatement). I mean, I had almost transformed myself into becoming a human version of Google on pregnancy.

A woman undergoes many physical changes during her pregnancy. Most changes are welcomed; others (such as stretch marks and pregnancy acne) are not welcomed at all. Beaute de Maman is a health and beauty product line that helps to control those unwelcome changes. They are not only allergy and obstetrician tested, but also contain only natural herbal ingredients and are safe for both mother-to-be and her fetus.

Many Hollywood celebrity moms-to-be such as Chyler Leigh (who plays Lexie on Grey’s Anatomy) and Brooke Mueller Sheen (wife of actor Charlie Sheen) have been seen and heard referencing various products in the Beaute de Maman line.

If you’re an expectant mom and would like to keep those stretch marks and pregnancy acne at bay, you may order now for the products from Beaute de Maman.


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Jan 24, 2009

Open Letter to My Screaming Neighbor

Scribbled by Perky |

Dear Mrs. Screaming Housewife,

You may not know me apart from the fact that we may have crossed paths in our condo's elevator. I believe I live a few floors below your unit. I may not remember how you look like but I am almost ashamed to admit that I know you quite well.

I know that you work hard to earn a living. I also know you have a rotten man for a husband. He drinks a lot almost every night and this displeases you. It makes you upset because he spends your hard earned money to support his drinking, he comes home late and smelling like a #&@(#&#* (sorry, I couldn't catch that foul word you used).

I didn't mean to eavesdrop into your weekly arguments with your husband. But it's hard not to seeing how loud your voice is, especially at midnight.

I'm not trying to interfere with your life. I don't know you well enough to understand why you have such a loser for a husband. I mean, I'm cool if you dig idiots like him. But from woman to woman, I feel sorry for you. And I hate to feel sorry for weak other people.

I've been around drunk people before, so I know very well that they are the last people you want to talk logic with. So to save you from ruining your vocal cords screaming at that drunkard, here's some non-lethal ideas you could use to torture the guy:

1) Spray animal pheromones on his clothes and shoes. It'd be interesting to see what other animal would want to sleep with him apart from his slutty mistress. Or you could use octenol on his clothes. I heard that it attracts mosquitoes. Oh btw, isn't it dengue season now?


2) Instead of chucking the microwave out the window, perhaps you could throw money. By doing so, you are stopping yourself from "sponsoring" his night activities. And if you don't have money to give, maybe he'll stay home more. Or get a job. Or whatever. (Plus money doesn't destroy your neighbour's car ;) )

3) Switch his diet pills with estrogen pills. Wouldn't it be fun to compare whose boobs are bigger?


4) Instead of slamming doors at midnight, perhaps you could use a quieter approach, like cutting up his clothes. Or you could soak his clothes in the toilet bowl. How's that for cleaning his dirty laundry?


But lady, all the above suggestions don't offer permanent solutions. The best solution would be to kick that parasite out of the house and out of your life.

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Jan 21, 2009

Still Got the Blues For You?

Scribbled by Perky |

2009 is proving to be the year of weddings. I've got 6 weddings to attend from February to March. I'm more concerned about what I'll be wearing to each weddings coz I ain't gonna get caught wearing the same thing twice!





Anyways, here's a quiz for you guys.

If an ex-bf or an ex-fling or an ex-whatever-you-call-someone-who-used-to-be-important-to-you-but-not-so-much-anymore, invited you to attend their wedding, would you go?

I can pretty much guess the kind of responses I'll be getting.

So I'm going to narrow down the question a little bit further. Would you go if he was the guy-who-got-away? The one who once in a while still pops into your mind and makes you wonder,"Hmm... what if we had stayed together?"

I'm in a dilemma. Don't get me wrong. I'm more than happy that he's getting married. There was no bitterness when we ended. Though I'm not in love with him anymore, I still love him, get what I mean? But I'm not sure if I'm brave enough to go.

Just getting his invitation card gave me an emotional roller-coaster, so I can't imagine that it'll be any easier for me to watch him say his I-do's with another woman. And I'd really hate to be that girl who looks at the groom with those sad nostalgic eyes.




So should I or should I not go?

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Nov 8, 2008

When It Is OK to Hit Below the Belt

Scribbled by Perky |

I don't know what possessed me to write this. I was halfway writing about something else when I had the urge to write about a particular guy from my hell-raising days past.

I believe it was in 2001 when I had mistakenly took lust for love. I was with a girlfriend one day, doing regular girlfriend stuff in KLCC and decided to walk into the Kinokuniya bookstore.

Other than satisfying my weird obsession with being in bookstores/stationary shops, I wasn't looking for anything particular. But then, something... someone caught my eye.

Not to sound cliche, but really it was like how we watch in movies where the time kinda goes in slow-mo. There he was, standing in the music section, clad in khakis and polo t-shirt, the most good looking guy I have ever laid my eyes on. His looks was borderline on being pretty but somehow has managed to retain his machoism on that pretty face of his. His skin wasn't as porcelain white as most typical Japanese people are. He was kinda tanned, which scored huge in my books.

The above is NOT Japanese Boy, although they do have the same body type.



Without consciously knowing it, I was secretly hiding in between the bookshelves so I could have a better look at him. I grabbed my girlfriend's hand and excitedly squealed to her,"OMG, you have to check this guy out. He's so HOT!!!"

"Well, why don't you just say hi to him?", she replied to me and without warning, just grabbed my hand and dragged me to him.

Anyways, to cut the story short, turns out Japanese Boy is a friend of hers. So we were formally introduced, hung out more and eventually ended dating each other.

In many ways, Japanese Boy was a perfect bf - charming, unbelievably good looking, body nicely toned and tanned, filthy rich, well-mannered, and my friends loved him (and I believe there were days when they'd rather hang out with him than with me).

But he was always on the horny side, which didn't go down to well with me. No seriously, he was like a horny energizer bunny on speed. And I didn't want to go down that road with him because there was that gut feeling telling me something was not quite right with my prince charming.

The resemblance is very cunning...



So anyways, one fine day he tells me he needed to go back to Japan for a month to visit his grandma. In my heart I was like,"Aawwww, so sweet! He adores his grandma."

Ok fine, I was thinking more about the gifts he was going to buy for me from Japan.

While he was in Japan, his cousin (whom I've grown quite close to) and I was doing our usual drinking session when the conversation went something like this:

Cousin: I can't believe you let him go back to Japan.
Perky: I don't see why not.
Cousin: You're the coolest girlfriend.
Perky: What do you mean?
Cousin: He's there to be with his ex-girlfriend.

Cousin then proceeds to take a picture from his wallet of this girl who looked like a porn star.

.........





Let's just say my reaction to that was very unladylike. But I played my cool and got my girlfriends to play along with my little revenge. When Japanese Boy came back, he didn't know that I had already found out about his affair. Because he had all this money to spend (and he wasn't stingy with it), my girls and I took him for a shopping spree.

It was fun at first, trying to burn a hole in his wallet. But unless if I was buying an island, it was very unlikely that he was going to be anywhere near broke. So I confronted him. Basically, he said he loved me very much but he's a man with certain needs and when those needs aren't met, he went looking for it with someone who would give it to him (which was always the said ex gf).

Yeap.

So anyways, long story cut short. I broke up with him. He went back to Porn Star Gf, gotten her pregnant, married her and only to divorce her a couple years later.

He did try to get back together even while he was married to her, but let's just say, it's kinda hard for me to take a guy seriously when the continuation of his generation depends on the lipstick between his legs.

Would you play with a lipstick?




*Writer has ZERO respect for men who cheats on their woman and a -50 respect for women who knows and yet stays with their cheating partners.

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Sep 3, 2008

Perky is Going to be a Fairy Godmother

Scribbled by Perky |

Over the years I've seen a few of my girlfriends and cousins carrying their own bundle of joy. Yeah, there was that "a-ha" & "owwwwhh" moments for me when I dangle carry their baby. But none of that can compare to the overwhelming joy I felt when my bestfriend, *Sheep, told me that she was 3 months preggers.

Something hit me. I was getting all teary-eyed, jumping & screaming like as if it was me who just hit the RM1mil jackpot.

*Sheep and I have been friends since we were in primary school. So we go aaaallll the way back. When I got my first period, she was there. When she got her first boyfriend, I was there.

We were there for each other when we went through our bodily and hormonal changes, when we realized we needed glasses coz we were blind as a bat, our heartaches, our successes and failures. We went to tuition together, and skipped tuition together.

Coincidentally (or fate had something to do with it, whatever), we even went to the same university (and had many, many more crazy adventures together). Every journey a girl could go through, we were always there for each other. Even as we go through our careers, she's not too far away as she works for my dad as the outlet manager for his pharmacy store.

So when she told me about this wonderful news, I kept trying to imagine how she'll look like pregnant. As she's in Sarawak and I'm here in KL, I won't deny that I was slightly upset that I was going to miss out on watching her "grow". I was going to miss out on feeling her baby kick in her tummy. I was also going to miss out on tagging along with her as she goes shopping for maternity clothes or when she needs to go out and indulge her cravings.

I'll be missing out quite a lot actually, and there's not much I can do about that.

For most parts, I can't be more thrilled about *Sheep's pregnancy. But a small part of me kept hearing "tick tock tick tock" and I found myself wondering if I'll ever get the chance to experience pregnancy myself. Which is really strange coz I don't like them drooling, shitting, crying monsters babies.

But for now, I'll just settle on being the coolest godmother to *Sheep's child.

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Aug 31, 2008

Designer Lingerie - A Must Have for the Ladies

Scribbled by Perky |

I have a weakness for Lingerie. Every time I pass by a Lingerie shop, I’ll be like,”Ooh, that’s pretty. I need to have that!” Need being the operative word here. I could spend a bomb on Lingerie but I’ll be a bit more reserved with my money when it comes to regular clothes or everyday wear.

For instance, when I go for meetings, I’d often opt to wear Lingerie underneath my office attire. I feel that it gives me the added confidence, like it gives me that extra ‘oomph’. I feel strong, I feel confident and I feel sexy. And when I’m feeling that way inside, it really shows in the way I present myself. Hahaha, that’s my secret to being a confident lady – wear Lingerie!


Boudiche-image---la-perla-_


Since I’m always on the lookout for Lingerie, there is this great Designer Lingerie website called Boudiche. Boudiche is actually luxury lingerie brand that is based in Scotland. But if you’re buying from their website Boudiche.com, your lingerie is hand selected and gift wrapped before being shipped to its destination. Their lingerie selection is not only glamorous, but more importantly wearable.

I’m a C cup and even then I sometimes have difficulties finding lingerie that will fit my size. So I can imagine what a nightmare it can be for ladies with larger cups. But at Boudiche, they have the prettiest styles and fabulous range of stunning Designer Lingerie and swimwear for the larger cup size to a GG cup.

Freya Lingerie is a popular choice at Boudiche, as its designs are fresh, uses modern colours and is a fabulous fit. The Freya range is available up to a J cup size! Fayreform Lingerie also caters to the larger-cup woman and are exclusively for D-cups and above. One of their best selling larger cup size brands in the boutique, Fayreform’s designs are chic and romantic.

Ladies, take a peak at the Boudiche website and treat yourself to some fabulous designer underwear and bra (I’ve been eyeing the Marie Jo Marlene Thong Rouge for quite some time now). It’s also a great place to buy gifts, bridal lingerie and maternity lingerie (who says you can’t look sexy when pregnant?). Go ahead and indulge yourselves!


Sponsored by Lingerie @ Boudiche.com

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Aug 2, 2008

The Panty Lesson

Scribbled by Perky |

From my previous panty post, I think you guys can pretty much tell that I'm the do-laundry-once-a-week kinda gal. You may think I'm just being lazy but really, I'm not.

When you do laundry everyday, you not only waste water, but also you waste a lot of detergent. Not to mention how much energy you waste trying to do so little laundry. Therefore, it's not because I'm lazy, I'm just being practical about doing laundry.

The thing about a woman's undergarment is that you can't chuck it into the washing machine like you would with men's undies or boxers. If we were to chuck our bras into the washing machine, in no time will it lose it's shape. I spend about RM100+ per bra, so I take extra care of them.

I know there are girls out there who just chucks their underwear into the washing machine. But seriously, that's just GROSS! We women (guys, better close your eyes for this) have discharge and we bleed every other day. Can you imagine having all that discharge and blood spinning around, mixing with our regular clothes? Gross, 'in it? *eerrgh shivers at the thought*

Therefore, I handwash my undergarments.

Problem is, I do it once a week. Maybe twice a week max.

So, there are times when I do run out of fresh undies to wear. I'm talking about the cotton, breathable, comfy, working gal panties to wear. Then when those run out, I sometimes resort to wearing my granny panties to work *gasps at the horror*

Yes, I do. Desperate times call for desperate measures.

Then on really rare occassions, like yesterday, I actually ran out of my normal panties AND my granny panties to wear! (well I think a gnome has stashed my panties in a secret compartment somewhere. Either that, or maybe McChef has been wearing my panties too).

So what's a girl to do? I can't possibly go commando, especially not with Scary Bush lurking around waiting to be discovered. And I can't possibly do what guys do - flipping their dirty undies inside out - and wear the "fresh" one. Eew eew eew!

So I opened up my treasure chest and voila! I took out my lingerie panties (the sexy lacey ones) and wore that instead. For the entire day. And the entire night (as I was out til midnight).



Let me tell you this very important lesson that I just learned.

Never ever wear lingerie panties for extended periods of time. Lingerie panties are for show.

The panties just kept rubbing against my erm... cracks/cheeks. I now have what feels like rug-burn, only in my cracks. Yeah, I have lace-burns. In my cracks. Stop laughing. It's not funny okay. It's really uncomfortable!

I'm thisclose to putting lotion around that region, but really, I don't want McChef to get the "wrong idea".

So, mental note to self: Lacey lingerie panties are not to be worn for more than 5 minutes.

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Feb 17, 2008

I Have Found the Cheeky Holy Grail!!

Scribbled by Perky |

Ladies, I thought I would never find it, but hey, miracles do happen! I have found the perfect blusher! Hip hip hoorah!!

You have no idea how hard it is to find the perfect blusher. Most blushers are either too pink, too bronze or just simply gives you the look that you have put on way too much makeup on your face. But thanks to my girl, Lisa, I now have the perfect blusher to give me that natural sleek sexy cheeky look.

Ladies, I give you "10" from Benefit:



I swear on my pink pig that this blusher from Benefit is just simply the best. Kalah blusher from Mac, I tell you.

So, why is it so damn good? Well, this blusher gives you the supermodel glow & sleek, sculptured cheekbones without making it look like you actually did put any blusher on. And it's so damn easy to use, too.


Of course, the price for beauty is not cheap. Eh, if cheap, then everyone can look like Gisele Buncheon lah kan. This blusher from Benefit costs a whopping RM130 and you can only purchase it from the Benefit counter in any Parkson stores. The price may be steep for some but trust me, it's worth every cent :)


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