Anyway, I had plans to meet up with the boys, *Beavis and *Butthead, at a coffee shop. I drove up in the Ford Hurricane, which usually draws a lot of unwanted attention to me because of my hobbit-like stature.

That drew fits of laughter amongst the boys, which, I'm not going to deny, shattered me emotionally.

Anyhoo, I felt that it was my duty as a servant of god, that I gave these boys a lesson on size and perception.

There are many places to close a deal with the client. Some choose to do it in the meeting room, some do it while on the golf course (something my dad excels at) and some choose to close the deal over a glass of beer, such as yours truly.

However, there are certain people who choose to do it while taking a dump in the toilet!

How do I know this? Hey, don't jump to conclusions so fast. It wasn't me, I swear! I happened to be in the next cubicle when I overheard the whole thing.

Oh, but wait, here's the best part. The lady was on speaker phone. She took her mobile phone with her to the toilet and put it on speaker. SPEAKER PHONE!

Obviously, she has never even heard of this little thing called bluetooth headphones, or whatever it is you call that wireless earpiece thingy that connects your ear to your mobile phone. Yeah, that cool thing.

Imagine listening to this:

Lady in the Next Cubicle: So do you agree with the 20k price?

Client: Yes. But what else can you throw in for me?

*karplunk* <-- that's the sound shit makes as it hits the water in the toilet bowl, in case you're wondering

Lady in the Next Cubicle: Erm... erm... *pooot!* *PLOOP PLOOP* I'll give you and your friends tickets to watch Transformers in GSC's Gold Class.


Wait, what? Your client is giving you 20k and all you're giving is some shitty Gold Class tickets to go watch a movie? Man, you're cheap! I would've thrown in a treat to the spa or something.

So you can imagine, apart from feeling sorry for the client for having to listen to the "melodic sounds" of shit making an exit from one's body, I couldn't help but laugh out loud. I didn't mean to eavesdrop, but it's kinda hard not to when the conversation is being put on speaker.

Man, don't this make you wonder whatever happened to common courtesy? I think it's just plain rude to be talking to clients in the toilet. You do not shit or piss on the hands that feed you.

Anyway, I hope that the Lady in the Next Cubicle remembered to wash her hands after that phone call. In all the excitement of closing a 20k deal, I won't be surprised if she didn't. And that, my dear, is just plain eew.

It is a universal fact that couples enjoy doing things together. Some couples wear matching outfits, some have matching hairdo (I swear, one of my gfs had a mullet haircut once just so she could match her bf's hairdo), some couples sit facing each other at Starbucks but engrossed in their own laptops.... so yeah, you get the drift.

McChef is no exception to this rule. He loves getting involved in the things I do because to him, it's the same as doing things together. Though I find this behavior of his rather endearing, there are some times when I feel that he's verging on hovering and just plain being a busybody.

Case in point - when I blog, he loves to read over my shoulder and tells me how to write (oh the nerve!). Or when I practice my guitar playing, he'll be like this vulture and waits til I put down my guitar. He would then pick my guitar up and "plays" like he's some guitar hero god. *sigh* The things I have to put up with sometimes.

Anyway, as you are aware, I've recently picked up paper crafting as a hobby, which I'm turning into a business. While I was making a card for Twilight Zone, McChef was (no surprise here) hovering near my work table, snooping around checking out what I was doing.

Since I was concentrating on my work, I couldn't be bothered with what exactly he was doing. When I first looked up, he was sketching something (using my sketch book nonetheless!).

The next time I looked up, he was cutting some of my materials and assembling them on the floor.

Nose-deep in my craft, he then shoved his first handmade item in front of me. And to be honest, I was jealous. My first creation was 2 flowers in a vase. His was a cool skull head which he named El Poco Loco, that loves to eat tacos and smoke a certain plant.

I don't deny that McChef is the more creative and artsy one between the two of us, but I think that life is a bit unfair to me. Between the two of us, he's the better looking one, he's better at business ventures and he can cook. As for my talent, well let's see... selective memory (read: forgetful), selective hearing (read: short attention span) and able to entertain others with my acrobatic skills (read: clumsy). Isn't it "great" to be me?

For the past couple of weeks I had been staying late in the office due to a big event I had last weekend. You see, that's another thing I realize about being an event organizer. When I don't have an event to work on, I'm like the most free, laidback, got-all-the-time-in-the-world-to-lie-in-every-bed-in-the-Ikea-store kinda person (and you'll see me blogging and blog hopping everyday!). But when the event is just around the corner, the only time I can spare is used for me to eat and sleep. Even taking a dump is something that needs to be done in under 30 seconds! The fast and furious crap job, that's what I call it.

That's how crazy it can get with my line of job.

Having to attend to 700+ emails from guests, clients and sponsors, being online was the last thing I wanted to do. Instead, when I got home, I went into my zen mode by playing my guitar. My guitar became my secret lover. I'd rather be "canoodling" and making sweet music love with her than look at my blog wife. However, these past couple of days I've been too lazy to spend time with my secret lover (read: my nails have grown longer and I've been too lazy to cut and file my nails. For those of you who's never played any string instruments, having short fingernails is a pre-requisition when playing the guitar).

Oh, let's not forget, there's McChef, who came back last week after spending almost a month in Terengganu due to work. Of course I had to pay some attention to him, too. Afterall, he is my dirty lover. And just like the dirty lover that he is, he skipped town last night to go back to work in Terengganu. Biatch.

No lover to pamper me, and no event to organize almost jobless at the moment, has made me think about the one who has always welcomed me with open arms and ready to listen to my nonsense thoughts.

And just like a husband who regretted his affair and wants to go back home to his wife, I "showered" my blog with some love. Check out my new header, designed by Aimee. She made a cartoon version of me from a picture I gave to her. Cute eh? Nothing says "I love you" like giving a picture of yourself to your loved one ;)

Also, I'm in the midst of setting up my online shop. Thanks to Aimee again for doing my shop banner (p/s: If you're looking for a graphics designer, I highly recommend Aimee as not only is she very creative but she also works very fast. She gave me a few designs to choose from and did so within a few hours after I told her what I wanted. You may email her at starofseraph(AT)gmail(DOT)com).

So yeah, I'll soon be launching my online shop for my handmade paper goods, so stay tuned for that! :)

One of my favorite stores is WH (which is kinda like the Gap of Asia). I actually didn't know that this is a concept store created by Malaysia's Pat Liew (who is the same person who created BritishIndia - the Malaysian equivalent of Banana Republic).

I love the clothes from WH. I think a third of my closet is filled with this label. I usually wear WH to sleep. For instance, below is the picture of my favorite shorts that I wear to sleep:

So, imagine my surprise when I woke up this morning and found out that the shorts I wore to sleep last night has been torn!

And who's the culprit, you ask? Well, the culprit happens to be my BUTT! It has grown! Well, not overnight, I'm pretty sure of that. Hahaha. I know I should've done something about my "holiday weight" the moment I came back from my year-end vacation. But there were so many weddings to attend, and they were serving all this delicious food that it was hard NOT to eat. And we all know how much I love to eat!

I believe somebody's trying to tell me something, either I should stop wearing skimpy tight-fitting clothes OR I need to start working out (already I can hear Mama Diva lecturing me on how I need to cut down my food intake and start hitting the gym. Urgh!). Working out would be a cheaper alternative than having to buy new clothes to fit my "fuller" figure.

This female species of the tuk-a-klook-klook has been spotted wandering around Malaysia. She was first spotted in Kuching two Saturdays ago, where she met up with her tuk-a-klook-klook mate.

An unidentified source has confirmed that she was indeed in Kuching and that her purpose there was to attend her human friend's wedding. She first met Bart back in 1994 when she was sent to study the lives of the human species for future hostile takeover purposes. Throughout the years they underwent military training and specialized in the fighting discipline of Taekwon-Do. They fought many enemies together and often took home the spoils of war.

Over the years, they forged & maintained a great friendship. Although he enjoys picking her up & throwing her into swimming pools (or in some cases, the sea), he does entertain her with human stories. She even counts him as one of her tuk-a-klook-klook brother-generals. A useful friend to have should she ever be captured and tried under the human's court of law.

On last Wednesday there were rumors that the female tuk-a-klook-klook had landed in Kuala Lumpur. It was said that due to the weakened stage when she was in her human form in Kuching, she had contracted the human virus strand known as the F.e.V.Er virus. Our scientists claims that this was because the tuk-a-klook-klooks do not tolerate rain and high levels of alcohol.

Just when our local authorities were about to capture and quarantine her, the female tuk-a-klook-klook took off to Melaka. This time she was joined there by her "unique" friend, Bibik Nyonya for his sister's wedding.

As of yesterday evening, we have received reports that she is back in Kuala Lumpur but is currently in hiding.

Please do not engage the female tuk-a-klook-klook in any way as it appears she has a secret poisonous tentacle in her pants as evident in the photo below (unconfirmed reports say that the poison from this tentacle will leave you laughing shits & giggles):

If you encounter this tuk-a-klook-klook, please avoid making direct contact with her as she is now carrying the Fl-U virus (a less dangerous version of the F.e.V.Er virus but just as contagious). But rest assured, she will not elude capture much longer.

I believe that in an alternate world I could've been a pretty successful model. Or at least a successful leg model. I mean, let's just forget for a while that I'm 4 feet tall and that my legs make up half my height.

Check my legs out, man: