Jul 1, 2009

Taking the Client for a Dump

Scribbled by Perky |

There are many places to close a deal with the client. Some choose to do it in the meeting room, some do it while on the golf course (something my dad excels at) and some choose to close the deal over a glass of beer, such as yours truly.

However, there are certain people who choose to do it while taking a dump in the toilet!

How do I know this? Hey, don't jump to conclusions so fast. It wasn't me, I swear! I happened to be in the next cubicle when I overheard the whole thing.

Oh, but wait, here's the best part. The lady was on speaker phone. She took her mobile phone with her to the toilet and put it on speaker. SPEAKER PHONE!

Obviously, she has never even heard of this little thing called bluetooth headphones, or whatever it is you call that wireless earpiece thingy that connects your ear to your mobile phone. Yeah, that cool thing.

Imagine listening to this:

Lady in the Next Cubicle: So do you agree with the 20k price?

Client: Yes. But what else can you throw in for me?

*karplunk* <-- that's the sound shit makes as it hits the water in the toilet bowl, in case you're wondering

Lady in the Next Cubicle: Erm... erm... *pooot!* *PLOOP PLOOP* I'll give you and your friends tickets to watch Transformers in GSC's Gold Class.

Wait, what? Your client is giving you 20k and all you're giving is some shitty Gold Class tickets to go watch a movie? Man, you're cheap! I would've thrown in a treat to the spa or something.

So you can imagine, apart from feeling sorry for the client for having to listen to the "melodic sounds" of shit making an exit from one's body, I couldn't help but laugh out loud. I didn't mean to eavesdrop, but it's kinda hard not to when the conversation is being put on speaker.

Man, don't this make you wonder whatever happened to common courtesy? I think it's just plain rude to be talking to clients in the toilet. You do not shit or piss on the hands that feed you.

Anyway, I hope that the Lady in the Next Cubicle remembered to wash her hands after that phone call. In all the excitement of closing a 20k deal, I won't be surprised if she didn't. And that, my dear, is just plain eew.

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16 Your say:

Nick Phillips said...

ROFTL! Karplunk! Poot, Ploop Ploop. I almost died from laughter la just reading this!

But yeah, darn, that woman was cheap la. And the client was also a doofus, I would have at least asked for an iPhone ... hahaha!

Kat Argonza said...

No worries I have honestly heard much, much worse.

lyana said...


uhmmm shouldn't there be a rule in "professional courtesy" on this? tsk tsk tsk.

Medie007 said...


Cromely said...

You should have spoken up and offered a better price.

At that point it doesn't really matter what it is, that's got to be an easy customer to deal with if she was comfortable closing the deal in the stall.

Or perhaps that speaker phone experience is exactly what she was selling.

savante said...

EEEEW! How in the world did she get the job! Lack of professionalism!

::. Anton ::. said...


The title itself already had me laughing hard. karplunk...not kaboom meh? Such unprofessionalism.... I wonder whether she has sandwiches too whilst hvg a dump?

Thanks Perky, you've made my day! ^_^

foongpc said...

Haha! This is so funny!

Yes I agree with you, she's such cheapskate - offering GSC tickets for a 20K deal! I'm surprised her client was OK with that!

If I'm the client, hearing those ploop ploop and karplunk sounds, I will not go through the deal! LOL!

::. Anton ::. said...

I can't help it but to read this post again! LOLZ

Either this post is a true funnies classic...or I'm juz too free today. Must be the former. ^_^


Homely Guy said...

Wah piang eh ... like that also can!?! ROFLMAO ...

Ron Jerem Lee said...

....deal is like farting from ur mouth.....

*plunk* plunk *
...sounds like shitty deal !

it does...

Mlle Linie said...

OMG! im sure that lady threw in whatever shitty she could offer given the shitty circumstances. haha.

A Common Singaporean said...

WHOOOHOOOOOO!!!! Such entrepreneurial spirit!!! whahahahahahah!!! comendable! comendable! The lady in the cubicle actually gets my thumbs up!

Samantha said...

OMG that's is so kelakar. I omost piss in my pants laughing at your story. Good thing phone only transmits sound and not scent.

manglish said...

and you stayed til the end of the conversation? ewwww.......imagine that stench......you are so kinky, honey..:)

MiChi said...

hey! you are taking a really long break from blogging huh?