Jun 1, 2009

Wished I Had Shit for Popcorn

Scribbled by Perky |

I've been looking forward to watch Terminator:Salvation since it opened in our local cinemas last Thursday, and this afternoon I had the opportunity to do just that.

I don't want to play the race card here...


I think the Chinese are the noisiest, most inconsiderate and clueless movie-goers.

Sorry if that statement offends my Chinese readers but hey, I'm of Chinese descendant too, you know.

Fine, fine, I'll be more specific then.

The typical Ah Bengs and the Ah Lians are the noisiest, most inconsiderate and clueless movie-goers. They forget to switch their handphone to silent mode, they speak LOUDLY while the movie is showing, and they shake their legs that the chair in front of them gets rocked as well (2 hours of that uninvited "massage" and you'll understand just how annoying it can be).

Seated next to me (unfortunately) was an Ah Beng-Ah Lian couple. From the way they dressed, I knew they were going to be annoying the moment they sat down (and trust me, I have very good instincts when it comes to people).

And I was right.

The girl started speaking LOUDLY, in Mandarin, to her boyfriend from the moment the movie started. I don't have to understand Mandarin to know that she's asking her bf to tell her what's going on.

Every. Single. Second.

Now, I don't understand Mandarin but when I watch a Chinese movie, I don't turn to my friend and ask him to explain everything to me. I read the subtitles. Sure, they're not always accurate (and sometimes they can be corny) but it helps me understand the movie without ruining other people's fun.

Numbnuts, that's what subtitles are for. And in our cinemas, we have subtitles in Malay and Chinese. If you don't understand English, then READ the damn subtitles.

As she just kept talking on and on and on, I just lost it.

Ah Lian: Ching chong ching chong ching chong.

Perky: Sssshhhh!

Ah Lian: Ching chong ching chong ching chong.

Perky: Quiet!

Ah Lian: Ching chong ching chong ching chong.

Perky: Eh, cibai, shut up lah!
(*cibai: a cuss word that means "pussy"/"vagina" in Chinese.
Writer's note: I thought only the Hokkiens use this word, but apparently it's universal regardless of whatever Chinese dialect you speak)

Ah Lian: Ching chong ching chong ching chong.

Perky: OMG! Are you that stupid, you can't read the subtitles instead?

Ah Lian: Ching chong ching chong ching chong.

Perky: You're so stupid, the reason why your bf is with you is 'cause you're the only pussy he can get.

Sad, isn't it? I need to learn to speak (or more importantly, cuss) in Mandarin. I was thisclose to throwing my popcorn at them but I was hungry, so I needed my popcorn as food.

Look, I'm generally a nice person but aggravate me enough, and the bitch comes out. We don't like it when we turn nasty like this. I was hoping her bf would get up and challenge me to a fist fight, but we all know who's gonna whoop his scrawny ass if it ever did come to that.

I don't know why I even bother writing about idiots like these. It's not like they read blogs (especially an English-written blog!). Even if they did, it'll probably be some food blog, where it's heavily-laiden with pictures and uses very little words (doesn't take that many brain cells to decipher the words like "mmmm yummm" or "tastes good/ok" or "yucks").

Anyway, that's my rant for today. If anyone's offended by this, go ahead and spam me with hate mail. It's been awhile since I last stirred shit on my blog.

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26 Your say:

aku adalah aku said...

Hahaha...you know what darl, that happens most of the time when I'm in the cinema trying to enjoy the movie. I hate it when they speak loudly...I can tolerate with handphones provided it's not ringing for too long, but non-stop talking..gosh, that really irritates me and it's so so annoying. True enough, the Malays or other bumis (in S'wak), they're never that noisy if they want to speak (well, as you state it clearly, the Ah Bengs and Ah Lians).

I'm half chinese too, but I'm the civilized Chinese.

- Jo -

Fable Frog said...

Terminator is showing liao~!???!! oh that explains why i never have such encounters [coz i seldom go to cinemas], except few times with the kids going, "daddy daddy. why like that geh, what they doing?" They are kids, so i forgave them~ LOL But the legs shaking ones~ i've experience too many times~ it does make earthquake scenes much more real though~

Nick Phillips said...

I would have got up and slapped the bitch, really I would. I hate people like these ...

mamaTWOHEADEDSNAKEdiva said...

bitch!!! again watching movie without me?? and u didnt want to throw ur popcorn coz of hungry???
hips never ever lie ....
bet you, if i were there, i just spit..yes to that bitch, not you,,,
matilaa drama queen kaki gaduh~~~

Jaime @ Fast Times said...

Seriously, I would have made a scene. Or kicked one of them. And then moved.

God's Rock Angel said...

I had to go and look up what Ah Beng and Ah Lien mean! Thank goodness Wikipedia has the explanation lol.

Over here in the UK they are called Chavs! lol. Thankfully I have enough emo and enough non-specific not to be a chav (also I think my brother would actually disown me if I was a chav!)

I go to the cinema on my own a lot so I just go to the random timed showing like the first showing in the morning or the 6pm showing as people are still eating tea or getting home from work.

Samantha said...

hahaha don't agree on the chinese part but memang agree on the ah beng & ah lian part. I'm annoyed by them just as much as you are. I actually did get into a tongue fights wt 2 ah lians before. They were hoping that I would b threatened by them..boy were they wrong LOL

oh luckily I'm not one of them else Perky will throw popcorn at me but then again she's too hungry LOL

Mlle Linie said...

if i were u, id tabur the popcorn on them. with the drinks included. then walk out of the cinema (for fear of revenge, dun want to dirty my clothes). and come back to watch the movie again. ngahaha.

Mlle Linie said...

ps: I laughed like hell when I read this statement in wiki >> Ah lians are very loose. They sleep with anyone of any race, age, and size.

::. Anton ::. said...

LOL OMGawd, our dislikes for these peeps are so similar. I'm usually the one who does the "SHHHHHH" and "OI". That usually does the trick coz they tend to behave when everyone's eyes are on them. And for the idiots who rock my chair, I wld turn behind and give them a "Freddy Krueger" stare.


A Common Singaporean said...

They are both stupid lah.

Try drawing a chicken praying in front of the altar and pass to them if they really can't read or write lah.

Better still, draw a shit with the smelly line strokes emitting from it and put it along side the praying chicken...

foongpc said...

Oh, I can totally understand your irritation. I hate those people who disrupt my movie watching too!

I thought Terminator Salvation is an all action movie that does not require much understanding? Just read the subtitles and do some guessing game can know the storyline already lah, what's there to ask?

Btw, was the movie good? : )

Medie007 said...

hahahaha. we have a colleague who is like "Gosh, that ghost is so stupid." and "so not logic one, yerrr..." and well, in the end, she was not invited to most movie outings, and when she did, she was asked to sit at the farrrr end where no one wanted to sit beside her. poor...

i wonder if u really did pussy with that ah lian. :P

budleee said...

well at least with those kinda of disturbance they you can make them stop doing it, but the worst the smell of feet.. do i have to bring febreeze along too!

Perky said...

Aku adalah aku:
Hahaha yeah. It all comes down to the person's upbringing. Majority of the bumiputeras are soft spoken (with the exception of booze, we can get noisy/rowdy too. lol!). We were taught from young to not speak louder than required.

Fable Frog:
I can tolerate the noise from kids because afterall, they are kids. But it is up to the parents to teach them manners.

But oh, if the movie is rated not suitable for kids (PG-18 watever), then there shouldn't be any kiddy noises. If got, that one also will irritate me. lol!

Nick Phillips:
Whoah! Ganas nyer this man ;) lol! Oh how I wish you were in the cinema at that time. hahaha.

Mama Two Headed Snake Diva:
But what if the noise came from you? You kan ratu bising. Then how? Can I spit on you instead? ;) HAHAHAHA!

Perky said...

Jaime @ Fast Times:
I would've moved but it was a full house on that day, so there was no other empty seats :(

God's Rock Angel:
Chav? Oh yeah, I remember them. I suppose this Ah Beng/Ah Lian/Chav/Ned phenomenon is all over the world. Lol!

Going to the cinema at random times? That's a good tip. Thanks! :)

Yalah. Nasib I hungry that time ;)

Mlle Linie:
I may throw them popcorn or drinks, but I don't think I will walk out. I mean, I paid to watch the movie. Plus I'm not the one who is being the problem, so I don't see why I should leave.

*diva sangat kan aku ;) lol*

I wish you were in the cinema with me too. Then that way, we both can do the "Ssshhhh" -ing and the "oi"-ing ;)

Perky said...

A Common Singaporean:
Me, draw? Hahaha! I think I'd rather use the pen and scribble their faces instead ;) lol!

Exactly! Terminator is not exactly a brainiac movie. Any Tom, Dick and Harry can watch it.

The movie was alright but not great. There's something about McG's directing style that I don't quite like. Definitely Terminator 2 was the best.

Hahaha! Tak kuasalah aku nak berpussy dengan pompuan like that ;) I don't do charity ok.

OMG! You are so right! Smelly feet is the worst! lol!

Kat Argonza said...

You totally should have fought the girl, or called her out more directly so that she either had to fight you or leave...
but then again, t hat's the story in my head. I know the reality would turn out way different, but i can dream, right?

Perky said...

Kat Argonza:
Hahaha, yeah we're all entitled to our dreams. I had various scenarios playing in my head on how I wanted to beat the crap out of her. But I just can't be that person who throws the 1st punch.

Joe Ong said...

Maybe I came a lil bit late to comment here lol, anyway I hate ppl shaking their legs and kicking the seat in front of them. Especially when you are seated in front of them, for me, I would turn and face them and ask him / her to stop that immediately and tell str8 to their face, loudly, so everyone's looking at us.
Hmmmm someone got ditched huh Perky lol, maybe someday we'll ditch 'him' together and go to our favorite 'place', remember?

mamaTWOHEADEDSNAKEdiva said...

fookkiee ...merk ratu jerit sajork yer... hihihi...btw, i know how to shut up when watching movie yer, i dun aask, why everything is bvlue and black etc...hihihihi...do not underestimate me(posebihada raise hand like ultraman)

Perky said...

Joe Ong:
Ala... you know la I no issues when it comes to food and ditching ppl ;) Omg we should seriously go there again soon!

Mama Two Headed Snake Diva:
You? Boleh diam? YOU??? HAHAHAHAHA! That's hard to believe okeh :P

onyxx said...

my first reaction when i saw the title of your entry: "ehhh? say what?!"

but after reading your post... i just want to say, you have my sympathy. i would've probably lost my cool, too :)

lovelila said...

Hahaha! I would have gotten annoyed, too!! UGH! I sat through Watchmen with a guy talking and repeating the lines of the movie the ENTIRE time. FUCKING ANNOYING!

Perky said...

Omg... I would've flipped out & strangle the guy or something. lol!

No one should have to put up with such nuisance.

Thanks for dropping by! :)

pikey said...

Hahahahaha... i would really understand your pain and I would take the extra mile to go to cinema located at the areas with least ahbeng and ahlian in the neighbourhood to watch movies.