May 31, 2009

Getting in on the Girl-on-Girl Action

Scribbled by Perky |

Earlier this week, I had learned from a friend that someone accused me of being a closeted lesbian. But before you go throwing insults at my accuser, pls bear in mind that I'm not mad. Really. On the contrary I find it rather amusing. I came from an all-girls school, so being called a lesbian is nothing new to me.

I have always been the kind of person who is touchy and affectionate, even among friends. Giving hugs and kisses is nothing strange to me. As a matter of fact, it comes naturally. When I was in high school, many thought that *Sheep (my best friend) and I were lesbians because everywhere we went, we would be holding each other's hands and we were always seen putting our arms around each other.

What can I say? We were both brought up in families where physical contact was encouraged.

Anyway, here are some of my accuser's theory on why she thinks believes that I'm actually a lesbian:

I'm Too Friendly with Girls
On the few occassions that my accuser has seen me, it's usually at TGI Friday's where I meet up with my girl friends over drinks. Our standard greeting: a hug and 2 kisses on each cheek. I'm sure you've seen girls do this all over the world.

But apparently, according to my accuser, when I hug and kiss my girl friends, it looks like I'm trying to get some lip-lock action. It's as if I want turn my greeting into a full blown make out session.

Like, huh? Seriously?

Makes me wonder what she think of European ladies, considering we adapted the kiss-on-the-cheeks culture from them. Surely they can't all be gay, can they?

I Have Crushes on Various Women
Erm, on celebrities to be exact. Angelina Jolie. She's a goddess on earth. Megan Fox. Oh, those eyes... and legs! Kate Beckinsale. Hottest vampire ever! Jessica Biel. Woman with the perfect face and body to match!

I honestly don't see what's wrong with admiring other women. It's kinda like admiring a piece of art, no?

I Hang Out with Gays. All. The. Time.
If I hang out with girls who are gay, then I can totally understand where this is coming from. But I hang out with GUYS who are gay. They scan other guys and talk about gay sex with me. If I really am a lesbian, hearing another dude talk about doing another dude should invoke my gag reflex (and give me nightmares). And besides, wouldn't it be more appropriate for me to hang out with other lesbians?

I Like Rough Sports
No, I'm not talking about kinky sex here, you dirty single-minded people. My accuser knows that I'm into extreme sports - from aggressive inline skating to white water rafting, from doing martial arts to rock climbing. Not exactly the kind of sports a girly girl would do, but I don't think that just coz I like to do physically demanding sports, doesn't automatically make me a lesbian.

My god, I can already think of the all the sports athletes that would take offense to such statement.

Anyway, here's my theory. I think my accuser has a secret crush on me. You see, she's trying to do this reverse psychology mumbo jumbo on me. If I were to admit that I'm gay, and since she's gay too, then there's no reason why we shouldn't hook up right? Look lady, even if I am a lesbian, I doubt I'd have feelings for you.

But I'm available if you want to treat me to a free dinner ;)

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14 Your say:

foongpc said...

Wow! this is an interesting post. So after reading your lengthy explanation, can i ask you, are you a lesbian? haha!

Actually, what's wrong with being a lesbian? It's just a preference for the same sex. Like my preference for durians over rambutans, Sony Ericsson over Nokia, and rain over sunshine.

Some people may criticize my liking for rain instead of sunshine, but is it wrong for me to like rain?

So to your accuser, yeah maybe she has a secret crush on you, but if she does not, just ignore her! : )

savante said...

A sexy gal willing to go girl-on-girl? Dang, you'd be the most popular sought after gal on the block! ;)

::. Anton ::. said...

Perhaps your next post will be "Ooops I did it, and i did it again!" ...... I meant free dinners la! ^^


Perky said...

Foongpc:Hahaha! I am straight but from time to time I do find myself physically attracted to other girls ;)

There's nothing wrong about being a lesbian or gay. People should be allowed to love whomever they want, even if they're of the same sex. Love trumps violence anyday :)

Ignore her? Nah... I'm gonna have fun with this one first ;)

Savante:*singing to Katy Perry's song* I kissed a girl and I...

it was alright lah. Not my cup of tea ;)

Anton:Hahaha. Well if there's one thing that can win me over, it's always food ;) lol!

apples said...

Women are generally more beautiful than men so I don't see why anyone would think it's strange that we admire them. The soft hair, the smooth skin, the curves... Who wouldn't love that?

I can't remember if someone has called me a lesbian before but I'm thinking maybe I should be one - I find guys easier to be around and I rarely understand girls. Exactly what a man would say, right?

But although I find women physically attractive that's all there is to it. I fall in love with guys, and those are the ones that make me all tingly and giggly. Would be interesting to see if there's a woman out there who could make me feel like that though...

Mlle Linie said...

This is sooo funny! You may have what it takes to be gay.

But, IMHO, u look too straight to be one babe.

Trust me on this one.

Then again, its a good deceiving device to get a free meal or two. :)

Medie007 said...

GO gurl GO! :P

lyana said...

hehehehe, I think your theory is right!

But hey-- this list is a very uhmm broad assumption on to who a lesbian is lah!

Nick Phillips said...

Girl on girl action, nuff said! LOL!

Fable Frog said...

oh girl on girl action is kinda' fine for straight people apparently. Coz can find these actions on straight porns!

Perky said...

Apples:Yeah I know what you mean by that. I find women to be very attractive creatures but I don't think I know any woman who I can feel the same kind of emotional connection I get when I'm with my man.

Mlle Linie:Hahaha! Yeah that's so true!

Lyana:which pretty much says that my accuser is quite a narrow-minded person ;) either that, she needs to go out more and meet real lesbians.

Fable Frog:Lol! You watch straight porn??? hehehe!

God's Rock Angel said...

I'm quite a huggy person - I don't think I was even openly accused of being a lesbian though lol. I went to a mixed school and was seriously uncool so I kept myself to myself where possible.

God's Rock Angel said...

P.S. because i commented, went away and then came back again.

Someone posted on YouTube about being gay and how some people get really insulting about it. I know I am a Christian and some how means I should be all against it but ultimately it's a choice that those people have made.

God doesn't love them any less because of the choices those people have made.

Don't worry I won't get any more religious than that

When I was at uni in one of my groups there were three girls who were lesbian or bi-sexual, they are perfectly normal human beings why should they be disrespected because of their choices?

Perky said...

God's Rock Angel:
Oh how I wish other Christians share your point of view.

People keep preaching about how everyone shouldn't be judgemental towards others or how we shouldn't hate other ppl, but the moment the gay word comes up, those "preachers" go crazy with "oh they're going to hell". They don't practise what they preach, do they?

Hypocrites. lol! ;)