Jan 10, 2009

Forgiveness is an Act of God

Scribbled by Perky |

When someone says they're sorry, it has to mean exactly just that. Sorry.


It's not something you do because someone gave you an ultimatum "do it or the universe will screw with you some more".

When you're sorry, you gotta mean it.

It's not something you throw around just so that you don't get stressed out about it (oh btw, that stress is the daughter of something called guilt, which is the product of another thing called I-Did-Something-Wrong).

When you're sorry, it means you've learned from your mistake and vow to never repeat it again.

It's not something you say just for the sake of saying it, hoping that by uttering the magic word your universe will be alright again. I am not the reason you lost your friends. So I doubt saying sorry to me will make things right again with them.

I won't forgive you, and it's not because I'm a cold hearted bitch (or maybe I am simply living up to the name you bestowed upon me - anjing pendek).

I just... can't forgive you.

How do I forgive someone who finally showed me his true self - a bitter person? Whose last words to me were intended to do nothing but hurt me? Who had insulted my friendship and called it as something I made up to make myself look good?

I'm not angry. I'm not sad. I'm not disappointed. Well, not anymore. I don't feel anything towards you and that's not a good thing... for you, that is. You see, if I had felt something, anything, that would indicate that I still cared for you. But there's nothing there.

If it's forgiveness you're looking for, I suggest you take it up with God coz I ain't got nothing to give ya. I've learned my lesson from the last time I had forgiven you, and I will not go down that road again. I will not be fooled into forgiving someone who isn't sorry, who isn't sincere about it, and who continues to be a jerk.

And if you do happen to read this post, pls do not try to contact me anymore. Because if you do, not only WILL I post the last "beautifully" written email you had sent me, but also I WILL post the link to your blog. You've been warned.

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14 Your say:

Fable Frog said...

Drama nyer~ cool down perky~ marah marah tu cepat tua oh.

Anonymous said...

What?? You were called anjing pendek?!?? You got tampar him not?

yeah don't forgive that bastard. if he keeps repeating his mistakes then clearly he doesn't mean it when he says he's sorry.

Sam said...

Someone called you anjing pendek!? CHOP HIS DICK OFF.

Or dice her boobs, whatever. :P

*Anton* said...

Whoa ...... so garang la you, 1st time for Sam too, but I like it! mwahaha

Remembered that i used to tell those bas***** that their sorries a worth a dime a dozen, and the only thing I like that jingles are my nuts.:P

Word verification : pantet
Probably describes the bas****'s face.

+Ant+

TEK said...

Ish! how come your blog got nice templete like this?

and how come you gots your own address?

teach leh!!!

Sorry for being so beng, my english no so power k?

Tough Girl 101 said...

I'm... so lost.

Ron Jerem Lee said...

any chances for us public to see the fella's nude pick shoving a suzhou wooden dildo up his own ass?

budleee said...

ic2.. takpe sini tempat lepas geram

btw i just got the first twilight book..

i need to find the second and forth one.

Uncle Lee said...

Hi Perky, a sad thing in life is when you meet someone who means a lot to you, only to find out in the end that it was never meant to be. And you just have to let go.
Regret to read your present experience. Hope things will turn out well in your life.
Best regards, Lee.

Nick Phillips said...

Wow, remind me not to piss you off! Hope whoever it is gets the message, if not, give him or her hell!

Mlle Linie said...

wow. this guy must have some loose screws in his head kut. anjing pendek? wahlau. yea, expose him if he still manaces u.

Perky said...

Fable Frog:
Sebab tu lah aku blog pasal aku punyer feelings. Kalau cakap, lagilah cepat tua k ;)


Anonymous:
Among other things, but that one was the most ridiculous thing he called me... considering he's not that much taller than I am. It's actually pretty laughable.


Sam:
Eeeh sam! I don't wanna get my hands dirty ;)


Anton:
Hehehe... the garangness comes out when someone steps on my tail (in this case, repeatedly stepped on it). Otherwise, I'm just happy-go-lucky, no issues kinda girl :)


Tek:
You think it's nice? Tq! :)

I got the template from BloggerTricks.com. They've got nice ones there. The blog header I did myself okeh, with what little photoshopping skills I have hehehe...

I decided to get my own address coz it's more professional lor, since I occasionally get paid to blog. But my blog is still hosted by blogspot, so even if you typed my old url, it'll direct you here :)


Tough Girl 101:
It's ok, Kat. This post was directed to someone specific n I just wanted him to know what was on my mind without having me tell it to his face.


Ron Jerem Lee:
Lol! Gila lah u ;P


Budleee:
Hehehe, yeah.

My twilight saga complete oledi :) I even have the twilight movie companion, plus I've already read Stephenie's draft of Midnight Sun (which tells Edwards point of view). I'm waiting for the twilight official guide to be released in Feb :D I'm obsessed, I know ;)


Uncle Lee:
Thanks, Lee! :) Well, u know what they say, the sun always shines after the rain.


Nick Phillips:
I doubt you can piss me off since you're always making me laugh so hard :)


Mlle Linie:
Oh u bet i will ;)

Twilight Zone said...

You didn't sound garang to me but I laughed coz I was in your shoes too..... many times! I have silly bastards in my office today that pissed me off. I hate Mondays!

Anonymous said...

This friend of yours is an idiot.

He's a stubborn person who kept on thinking that he is right all the time.
He keeps on going against each of his friends, and now when the damage is already done too late,
he realized that he is all boo hoo alone.

This person kept on doing the same mistakes all over again without learning from them.
Until his blind eyes saw that money or any kind of achievement is nothing compared to the precious friends, including you, who already lost trust in him.

This person is so self-centered, acted without thinking, and wasted the years of friendship bonded between you and him.

This ungrateful person is very sorry of all the unimaginable words which have hurt, and insulted your pride and dignity, and did not appreciate all the effort and the determination that you've given to mend the friendship all the time.

No matter if life goes on, and he may find new friends, but he will always be punished with the regret for being so imbecile.

He doesn't deserve your forgiveness.

But here he is, trying to say that he regret all the things that he had done.
He finally saw the ugly reflection of himself that life had shown to him,
and how he was an annoying, disrespectful, arrogant animal.

He knows he already lost all the trust from you,
but he'll try his best and pray that some day he'll earn it again.



I'm sorry.
I've already screwed it all.