May 17, 2008

Loneliness Is Worse

Scribbled by Perky |

When McChef told me that he was following his boss for a wedding in Thailand for the weekend, my first thoughts were, "Yay! Finally I can have some me-time and play video game without feeling guilty". Yes, I know, how selfish of me, right?


But just imagine this: you're up against the mean ass big boss and you need more than both hands to fight him (such as the required level of intelligence needed to scream all sorts of vulgarity towards the tv). And there you are, near death but you're just about to beat the damn son of a gun. As you're trying your damnest best to deliver that one final blow, all of a sudden you find your partner trying to kiss you. From the front.

Yeah yeah yeah, it's sweet that he still kisses me all the time but can he pick a better time than that? There are other parts of my body he can kiss, such as the back of my head where he won't obstruct my view.

So anyway, back to my point. Before he left, I was glad. Happy. Yes, I'm free! I'm free to do whatever I want!

But now, now that he's not around, I find myself unable to cope with my "newfound" independence. To make matters worst, I'm all alone for the weekend as Big Fat Witch left for Terengganu to attend (yet another) wedding.

So, here I am, on a Friday night, typing out my poor-old-lonely-hag post. Oh, if there's one thing I find to be so unbearable is loneliness. I am just one of those beings who can't be alone. Me alone is kinda like leaving a child unsupervised. Shit happens, especially if there's a six-pack in the fridge.

They both haven't been gone for long and already I'm miserable to the point I'm feeling depressed. It's 1 in the morning, and there's nowhere I can buy Ben & Jerry's. There's crappy movies on Astro. And I've already watched every single damn dvd I have at home. So yes, I'm about to blow my head off because I'm that bored.

I simply don't know how to be alone anymore. Who will warm my feet for me while I sleep? My cats? Even they're avoiding me like as if they're scared to catch on my infectious depression. Tonight there will be no gentle pecks and I Love You's before I sleep (the damn idiot had one too many drinks in Thailand and was already in bed by 10pm).

I'm wrestless and having bouts of anxiety attacks. You see, before I resorted to begging for sympathy comforting myself through blogging, I had been playing Zelda on Nintendo Wii for the past 4 hours. I realized that I had skipped dinner because I was too intent on unlocking more hidden secrets in the game.

So here's the best part. The last 3 hours was spent with my character walking around aimlessly as I refused to admit that I'm stuck, that I'm clueless as to what to do next, and that I need McChef to play this "tiny" part of the game for me so I can move on.

But he'll only be back on Sunday evening. So what am I suppose to do til then?

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10 Your say:

lyana said...

naik level 6 sekarang! or get mama diva and airswift to come over. :)

Anonymous said...

lucky you,..he's only gone for the weekend. i've been lonely for over a week already, and unusual things happened to me...my situation being left untreated might bring bad consequences, so yesterday, i bought my ticket 'cos i can't wait for my partner to come back.

Perky said...

Lyana:
Mama Diva dah balik ke penang dah. Nah I tot I'd a weekend gay-free ;)

Anonymous:
Oh tat's so sweet of you. It reminds me of what my man used to do 4 me b4 he moved 2 kl.
So where you going?

boku-wa-kuma said...

honey, who needs man when u have chocolate... ;) [or it just me??.. hik...]

p/s: can't wait to see dat retarded cat... must be very funny & cute kan?... post her pic someday ya... fyi, all cats are cute to me... i think i was born as a cat in my past life coz i think i can even talk to them...LOL....

p/p/s: pack ur bags & bikinis honey as i'm going japan again next month... it will be a fun summer over there... accomodation is free... u can tumpang my hotel lor... and U R SAFE... hehehe... *NAK KENA PANAH PETIR??!! ;)

wEn said...

perky: 1 weekend
anonymous: over 1 week
me?: berbulan-bulan dah! >.< RINDU sgt2 -.-"

orh btw, thanks for stopping by, Perky

Perky said...

Boku-wa-Kuma:
Ala, you just pop by my house jer lagi senang. Even better if you see the cats with your own eyes & play with them :)

Eeeehhh pergi jepun?? I WANNNNNN!!! :)

Wen:
Hehehe poor thing...

I accidentally found your page when I was googling Big Fat Witch n realized she's your friend hehehe... small world!

Anonymous said...

going to bario on thursday and coming back sunday...i just realize that loneliness goes along with clubbing, except that it doesn't fix u anymore.

Perky said...

I'd love to go to Bario one day, as I've heard so many great stories about it.

Clubbing used to get me high as back then life revolved around juggling between getting drunk & trying to function as a normal human being the next day. but these days, especially if I were to go without my partner, it just makes me feel more miserable & so out of place.

mlle linie said...

babe, i so know how u feel....

mlle linie said...

jom lets meet up.. email me... norlinie@gmail.com