Sep 16, 2006

Yabby the Prawn

Scribbled by Perky |

Don't you just love it when your partner gives you a pet to take care of? It's the perfect rehearsal to raising a child together (afterall, children can be horrid little creatures animals). How can it not be? You spend time with the pet, nurturing it and loving it. Hell, you even take it to the bed sometimes.

Now let's see, what is considered to be pets? Refer to the following:


Now what do they have in common?
Cute. Check.
Adorable. Check.
Lovable. Check.
Friendly. Check.
Must be something you can cuddle. Check.
Most importantly - it's not to be consumed.

But a prawn? A PRAWN??!? Bryan got me a friggin' PRAWN! The only prawn I like are the ones served on my dinner plate (preferably with melted butter).But a LIVE PRAWN?!?

He got me a live prawn based on this equation:

Perky loves Iguanas.
Perky thinks Iguanas are cute.
Therefore Perky must think Prawns are cute too.
And therefore, Perky loves Prawns.

I know I shouldn't be too hard on him. I mean, it's partly my fault. I should've given him the list of creatures I'm deathly afraid of:

  1. Cockroaches
  2. Spiders
  3. Grasshoppers
  4. Praying mantis
  5. Basically, all kinds of bug, EXCEPT ants, mosquitoes and flies... 'cause they're too annoying for me to be afraid of
  6. Prawns
  7. Worms
  8. ....

Wait, scroll back on to #6. What does it say? P-R-A-W-N-S. If I didn't love him so much, I would've judo chop his sorry ass. This is what happens when your boyfriend works in a restaurant. He gets ideas. I would've settled for a chocolate cake and I would've been so happy. But Nooooooo... he got me a prawn. Called Yabby!

Yabby's got nasty pincers. So tell me how am I suppose to love a prawn? I can just imagine the guilt the next time I eat seafood. "Oh no, I hope Yabby doesn't know I'm eating her uncle right now. Oops... too late. Hmm... kinda tastes like Uncle Frank."

Well from reading this blog alone I'm sure you get a hint of how freaked out I was. I've never freaked out so much in my entire life. 8 zits popped out because I got too stressed out last night. I can't just throw Yabby out. That's bad for my karma. Seeing how freaked out I was, Bryan even offered to cook Yabby. But I couldn't just let him do that. I'd feel guilty. She's family (*bleuk*). So what was I suppose to do? Can't throw it away, can't kill it.

So I turned to God. I prayed that He would show mercy on me. I prayed that He would miraculously make Yabby a pair of wings so that Yabby would fly away. But I guess He wasn't listening properly. Instead, He welcomed Yabby into His kingdom this afternoon (I did not kill Yabby).

And what I am suppose to do with a dead prawn? Well, let's just say I'm gonna make sure Bryan's gonna cook up something real nasty and that I'm gonna enjoy every single bite of it. Yumm Yummm Yummmyyyyy!

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9 Your say:

savante said...

Good grief. What do you feed prawns?!

Maybe you could cook it for the other bloggers like us and you wouldn't be so guilty.

cain & abel said...

Poor Yabby...he'll always have a place in our hearts. That's one big ass prawn by the way. I thought it was a baby lobster!

Anonymous said...

Dont be too hard on the poor guy. He atleast tried. Appreciative I say. :-) but prawns hahah . Perky you have a very funny bf :-)

Keep on writing

Anonymous said...

HAHAHAHA! I dont know which is funnier - him getting you a live prawn or yabby died under your care. Lol!!!

This was a good one babes!


Anonymous said...

well, u could *plan a natural death for the prawn... wait, it's dead alrady isnt it... hehe

Perky said...

I have no idea what prawns eat. Bryan fed it meat but the prawn didn't touch it. So I really have no idea. Maybe it died of starvation huh? No seaweed perhaps.. hehe.

Cain & Abel:
I thought it was an alien!!

My bf has a sick twisted sense of humor. Hehehe... i'll outdo him next time. Maybe I'll get him a pet frog (he's piss scared of frogs btw...*evil laugh*)

Hahaha! Yalor... but i'm so glad the biatch died!

I relied on the power of prayer... and guess what... it worked!! Muahahaha!

Jay said...

This is actually pretty funny, from my perspective :)

Hope old Yabby is happy wherever he is.

Perky said...

Lol! Well if Yabby ain't happy, at least I'm happy for it! Muahahaha!

Joshua said...

what should i feed my prawn as i just got a prawn yesterday. It pinched some fish meat and didn't eat any more.......
wish my prawn doesn't die.