Jul 14, 2006

Even I Am Capable of Such Stupidity

Scribbled by Perky |

Yes, people, let it be known: I drove into a drain. I, the great, spotlight-hogging, life-of-party, super genius, multitalented Perky, is capable of mistakes made by commoners. And I almost friggin' died!!!

Ok, for my defense, I couldn't see the drain because it was at night (*insert lame you-guys-oughta-come-up-with-new jokes about my height). With the confidence of Tyra Banks on the runway, I sideparked my car at Taman Tun. Now you all know what a pro I am at parking cars right? So this shouldn't be a problem for me right? RIGHT??? I felt the car tilt towards the left. I mean, I only felt a slight tilt... nothing to be alarmed about. Then suddenly oops! Into the drain I went. I tried to drive forward, my car didn't budge. Tried to reverse, no luck. Tried to turn the steering left and right, even more no luck. Haiyor... how now??

I rested my head on the steering wheel, saying a little prayer,"Please just move. Please please please. If I can just get my car out, I promise I won't be so mean to stupid drivers on the road". Ok, the last sentence I made up. But seriously, I prayed ok but still my car was stuck. Like as if the lights from the heavens shone straight to Earth in my time of need, I looked right and saw a mechanic shop. And it's still open!!! Talk about luck, man.

Of course, there was a bunch of mechanics sitting outside the shop who saw the whole incident. And they were already laughing their heads off. Mean. Some people can be so mean (naturally, I too would be laughing if it had happened to someone else). I know I had to ask for their help. Oh Lord!!! Me, the great Perky, asking for help!!!! Why don't You just smite me now, O'mighty Smiter???

As I got out of the car, already my head was spinning an evil plan to get back at those mean oily mechanics. Think, Perky, think!! Oh I know... I'm gonna get them take my car out of the drain for free!!!! Muahahahahahaa! And with that, I put on my innocent face and did my bimbo strut as I made my way towards the mechanic shop. I approached the man who looked like the tauke of the shop (I assumed he was the boss 'cause it seems like everyone's taking orders from him).

Perky: Hi, I think something's wrong with my car. It won't move anymore. *bites lower lip and gently swings body left to right and right to left*
Tauke: That's cause you drove it into the drain.
Perky: *Gasp* How am I suppose to go home now? *tear ducts starting to work*
Tauke: Don't cry. I get my boys to help you out, ok.

And with that, the tauke together with all his boys worked to get my car out. They examined the crime scene, jack-up my car and after putting together those manly muscles, voila! My car was out.

Perky: Wah.. you guys just made my car look really light. I don't think I can lift the car on my own hor?" *giving the tauke my don't-u-just-wanna-pinch-my-cute-innocent face and flashed him my guarantee-to-melt-your-hearts-away smile*
Tauke: Girl, if you cannot see at night, I suggest you don't drive at night ok. It's not safe.
Perky: *Screw you.* How much do I have to pay, ah tauke? *takes out wallet and secretly praying that I have enough money to pay this man*
Tauke: Haiyah... don't need to pay lah. Only small thing mah. Some more my boys very glad to help you. *true enough, his boys were gleaming*
Perky: Really? Wah... you so kind. God bless you, tauke!!! But I must give you something in return for your kind service. *Takes out beer stash from my trunk and passed him 2 cans*
Perky: Here, for you. *gives tauke my special smile... the one where my eyes light up like it's the 4th July*
Tauke: Thank you, girl. Don't drive into the drain anymore ok.

So let's recap:
- I drove into a drain
- Had to ask help from mean oily mechanics.. and that alone almost killed me
- Laughed at by mean oily mechanics and busybody people.. I think i was more red than tomatoes from the humilliation of being laughed at.
- Gave my precious cans of beer away to mean oily mechanics

By the way, did I mention the size of the drain? It's as big as a pot hole but deep enough to trap my left tyre.

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10 Your say:

Himu said...

ok Perky :D
here comes my mean manly himuly awesome :D laugh for you

hahahahahahahah lol :D

Just kidding :D

cain & abel said...

nothing beats the live version. Lol!! Did you like twirl your hair as you asked the boss? Ha ha ha ha!!!

Anonymous said...

oh-my-freakin'-auntie-in-law! it still sounds funny.

-aaron hoshi

alex said...


Your such a dramaqueen sometimes lah babe. And you know what's so ridiculously funny is that I know for sure these are the things that went thru your disfunct brain.

Hahahaha! I honestly tot it was a big ass drain.

alex said...

And to think that your one of the best female drivers around... you just had to prove us all wrong ey ;) You did drive and park my x5 with such ease it put me to shame you know lol!

alex said...

And to think that your one of the best female drivers around... you just had to prove us all wrong ey ;) You did drive and park my x5 with such ease it put me to shame you know lol!

sharon said...

manipulation is an art babe! and i thought you did superb! heh. :)

Tan said...

U had beer in ur trunk???! wtf?!? how come never tell me wan... u nasty...

Anonymous said...

*sing like "pinky and the brain"*

perky in the drain,
perky in the drain,
perky in the drain, drain, drain..

-aaron hoshi

Perky said...

That was a mean manly himuly awesome laugh :P lol!!

Cain & Abel:
Hey bimbo strut comes with the twirling of the hair k. hahaha.

p/s: That's the thing with blogging... i can't seem to transfer live version on black & white :(

It was a BIG ASS drain k.. mengikut sistem mada lydd. crap now i have to explain what that system is to u. read previous post on trip to kuantan if u rajin.

Best female driver???? Haiyor... so insulting... u should've said one of the BEST DRIVERS around!!! :P
p/s: miss driving the x5 *hint hint*

I agree... manipulation is an art. Muahahaha!!!

oops!!! secret is out! ;) but habis oledi lah *just had to rub it in lah ;)

Aaron Hoshi: