I recently took an IQ test. To my amazement, I scored 140. What I know from taking this test is that I'm quite smart & that I share the same IQ with Madonna. Then I thought to myself, 140 out of what? 200? 500? 1000? What is an average person's IQ? Doctors in general have an IQ of 112. If I'm so smart, then why am I not a doctor? Or a singer/dancer/bad actress like Madonna? But I'm not doing too bad in my career life. I'm barely 24 years old and already been offered partnership in my company. If everything works out well in a year's time... well, that's too far ahead for me to see right now.

Why do I find it so amusing to have an IQ of 140? You see, I was stupid for the first 8 years of my life. I didn't think of myself as stupid naturally, but everyone else around me didn't think much of me back then. To them, I was the girl who was always cheerful, cracks jokes, easy to get along with, somewhat popular with students & teachers, and also the one who can't read. Yes, I COULDN'T read. I'll always be remembered as the one who couldn't read. I can even picture the words on my tombstone:

Perky
Loved by Many, Loathed by Some
But Couldn't Read for Shit!

I envied my peers who could because the teacher would call them out to read in front of the class. I wanted to read in front of the class. So what if I had a mild stutter? I wanted to read, damn it! Whenever we got our test results, I'd see others showing off their A's & B's... while I would shamefully hid mine away. My biggest achievement back then was when I got second lowest results in class! I bragged about that... well, I still do ;)

I remember the time when I was in Manchester. I was always sent to my sister's class (kindergarden, mind u!) so that I could learn to read. And that time I was about 6 or 7. Yeah, I could sing the ABC but I couldn't form sentences with it. I saw letters like pictures. I would memorize them but still I couldn't form anything with it. I couldn't even spell my name. So when it came to exams, well you guessed it... I would 'draw' the letters out & in my mind, they formed words & spelt out whatever I wanted to say. So was it my fault that the teachers couldn't understand what I wanted to say?

Not that I was unhappy back then. Some secretly envied me. I wouldn't blame them. I not only had friends my age, but also from kindergarden. Yeah, man, I had an army of playmates! Lol!

It was when I was about 8 years old that something just clicked in my head. I picked up a book & slowly I could recognize words. And slowly, I was reading out loud. And ever since then, life just picked up speed & hasn't slowed down since. I felt that my mind was locked in various parts of the brain & slowly it was 'opening'. And every time it 'opened', I would feel another 'click'. So, from last to class I became numero uno. Even so, I never bragged. My head didn't swell up 3 times its original size. I know what it feels like to be the underdog. Nah, actually, I was scared shit that perhaps me being 1st in class was a fluke & I didn't wanna jinx that, really! I was scared shit that I'd be dumb the next day if I became too proud.

My dad, surprised to learn that his gene pool didn't get screwed up, would shower me with gifts. Whenever I got an A, I would get a gift. Nothing too fancy coz I never liked anything fancy. Usually, it'd be a nice meal somewhere fancy. The best gift I ever got from my Dad was a Fender Strat. And when I didn't fancy anything, I somehow just refused to work for an A. I'd settle for a B instead.

I suddenly find old memories creeping up in the back of my mind. I was in my second year in uni. Life was going crazy back then. I was clubbing, drinking too much, smoking too much... everything I did, I did it in excess. I was doing everything but study. Of course I would turn up for class, listened a bit, and finish all the assignments given (or try!). Time went by so fast that I hardly did any studying at all. Then the finals came. The night before exams, I still went out clubbing. And boy, did I pay the price the next day. There I was in the exam hall trying really hard to finish my exam. It was made worst by the fact that I was still suffering from a hangover & I felt like vomitting every 10 minutes or so. And they say exams can't be that hard eh.

This was the one time when I was pissed scared of what my results might be like. I even drafted out answers (read: excuses) for my dad explaining why I'd failed so miserably. I didn't think my dad could take answers like,"Dad, I was pissed drunk when I did the exam". lol. I also thought how miserable life would be if I had to repeat the same papers again. I prayed like I've never prayed before. I even went as far as vowing never to drink again. Thankfully, I manage to scrap by with an aggregrate of 4.0. So I didn't do too badly there ;)

I thank my Dad for sending me for music classes. Music was my salvation during my non-reading days. It was the one good thing happening to me & still is. Somehow when it comes to music, I hear so many melodies, many lines of harmonies. So much so that I could even picture the music in my head. It's hard to pen this down. Even til this day, whenever I hear a song play, I would humm the harmony & come up with new melodies. My relationship with music is a beautiful one, compared to my relationship with words. I still stutter with words.

I've come a long way since my stupid days. I'm not saying that I'm the brightest kid on earth. I'm really not. I failed all my physics test. I still can't read well. All I'm saying is that, never look down on anyone. With a clap of His hands, that person could very well surpass you in life.

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